“WE’RE ALSO GETTING REPORTS THAT AIG, OF ALL COMPANIES, IS ISSUING DERIVATIVE CONTRACTS THAT  INSURE THESE SANDBAGS … BUT NOT ANY OF THE HOMES THAT MAY GET WASHED AWAY.”

“AS LONG AS THEY INSIST ON TAXING OUR BONUSES, WE’RE GONNA’ THROW THE TARP MONEY INTO THE EAST RIVER.”

Meg White at BuzzFlash strikes a similar chord with Tea Party Tantrums.

Lisa Casey on Buying Toxic Assets.

In perhaps the ultimate sign that the reckless behavior of  Wall Street is exacting an “historic” toll, the Borough of Manhattan, originally purchased by the Dutch from the Indians 400 years ago, was today sold back to the same Native-American tribe.

Most shockingly, the price was also the same — $24 — although given the strength of the Indian bargaining position, they did not have to pay cash, but only toxic stockpiles of  “corn derivatives,” also known as ethanol.

Perhaps fittingly, while the seller in such transactions typically springs for the celebratory lunch, in this case, the contracting parties went ”Dutch treat.”

Although the tribe indicated that the entire island of Manhattan would be turned into one giant gambling casino, most financial experts agreed that this represented an improvement in “risk management” over the business practices of the last ten years. 

Disgraced AIG executives lost no time in shifting their focus, immediately seeking hiring bonuses from the new Native-American owners of Manhattan. One former AIG trader even claimed that he had a brand new idea for “poker chip default swaps,” to insure that there would never be any losses resulting from sub-prime gamblers.

On CNBC, Jim Cramer commented that he was “sitting bullish” about the deal, and that in addition to the gaming industry,  he was optimistic that this deal would even be able to resuscitate “Running Bear Stearns.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the Deficit Bogeyman under your bed.

Norm Jenson with The Sunday Funnies and Bill Maher’s New Rules.

Pick your poison, between Congress and AIG, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Fume About Hume.

“AS THE PUBLISHER OF THE NOW-DEFUNCT WEEKLY WISTFULLY SAID: ‘WE WERE HOPING TO STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO REPORT ON THE ARMAGEDDON, NOT BE ITS LEADING INDICATOR.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Bill Maher on Rush the Racist, at One Good Move.

Madkane’s Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!

Entertainment Supreme, at BartCopE.

Juan Cole on the latest developments in Pakistan.

“THIS MAY BE THE FIRST CASE WHERE THE THE PRIVATE SECTOR STIMULATES THE GOVERNMENT. AND THE FIRST CASE WHERE WE FINALLY STIMULATE REAL BIPARTISANSHIP.”

[Lisa Casey weighs in with Wall St. Whineries.]

“ANDERSON, MADOFF SOMEHOW CONNED ALL THE OLD FARTS INTO BELIEVING THAT THEY’D BECOME COOL, JUST BY BUYING A MOTORCYLE AND LEATHER JACKET FROM HIM.”

An independent panel of economists, historians and behavioral scientists have unanimously concluded that George W. Bush, a/k/a “The Bubble Boy,” is chiefly responsible for the “bubble bubble” that has enveloped this country for the last eight years, which has caused virtually all segments of society to live within a bubble, completely divorced from reality.

The distingushed panel, known as “The Bubble Commission,” brought to bear their expertise in studying past bubbles, including the biblical Tower of Bubble and ancient Bubbleyonia.  Its main finding was that by living in a bubble himself for his entire Administration, and by aggressively using the power of the bubble pulpit, the President has effectively created a national bubble that rivals trapped greenhouse gases as a threat to our way of life.

The Bubble Commission took pains to point out that the “bubble bubble” was not limited to self-described Wall Street “Masters of the Universe,” but also affected bubble-gum chewing waitresses, who squandered their tips on high-risk stocks, instead of saving it for bubble bath to soothe their aching bones at the end of the day.

The panel also concluded that while most people are just starting to emerge from the bubble, both Bush and Cheney appear hopelessly trapped inside, as their exit interviews plainly indicate that they don’t know how to exit the bubble.

Indeed, even the original Bubble Boy from Seinfeld, who many blame for the housing bubble, has come out with a statement that he’d risk his life and leave his own bubble, in order to burst the bubble of Bush and Cheney, who “did more damage than even the Moops who invaded Spain in the 8th Century.”

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Buzzflash with Ann Davidow on A Nation of Bubbles, and Editor Mark Karlin speaks on It’s time to ban TV ads in elections.

Juan Cole with the latest on the al-Zaidi Shoe-Throwing Incident.

Hollywood Liberal with Chris Weigant: Make Wall Street Take The Same Deal The Autoworkers Get.

“WE ALSO INSISTED ON UNLIMITED CHECKS, WITH A DESIGN OF OUR CHOICE, ALL AT NO FEE. THIS WAY, WE CAN CONTINUE TO RUN UP THE NATIONAL DEBT … WITHOUT ALL THOSE ANNOYING MONTHLY CHARGES.” 

“TODAY, THE MARKETS SOARED AS THE U.S. GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCED IT’S PARTIAL TAKEOVER OF THE BANKING SYSTEM, WITH A LARGE INFUSION OF … DAS KAPITAL.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Staying on topic, Greenspan’s Folly, All Hat No Cattle.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin asks: What’s the Difference Between the McCain Campaign and George Wallace?

Change Depends, at One Good Move.

Sarah In Wonderland, by Madkane.

                              THE TRUE GIBBERISH CZAR

“DOGGONE IT, YOU BETCHA’ THAT BY FOLLOWING THE AYN RAND LIBERTARIAN PHILOSOPHY, AND COMPLETELY ABANDONING ANY REASONABLE  REGULATIONS OF THE DERIVATIVES MARKET, WE CAN COUNT ON WALL STREET TO POLICE ITSELF…. IN OTHER WORDS, I CAN SEE MARKET STABILITY FROM MY BATHTUB.”

The New York Times with the story.