The Satirical Political Report

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January 12th, 2009

Bush Justice Dept. Busts Bill Cosby for Voter Fraud

“NOT ONLY DID MR. COSBY BRING A GROUP OF DECEASED FAMILY MEMBERS IN TO VOTE, BUT HE ALSO CAST VOTES ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE HUXTABLE FAMILY, THE PENN RELAY TEAM, AND SOME GUY WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF ’FAT ALBERT’.”

The Poignant Video of Bill Cosby on Meet the Press.

And Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

October 31st, 2008

Oprah Gifts to Audience Members Their Own Voting Machines

“WE’RE TRADING IN OUR CARS FOR VOTING MACHINES, SINCE WE CAN’T TRUST THE MACHINES THEY PROVIDE US AT THE POLLING PLACES.”

[Oprah's Voting Scare, at HuffPost.]

October 30th, 2008

The Gloves Are Off! — Dems Have Plan to Neutralize Dishonest GOP Flyers

    VOTING IS NOT ON NOVEMBER 4th

                     BUT ON

      THE 5TH OF ARMAGEDDON!

October 17th, 2008

Why Don’t Dems Just Fight Fire with Fire with Own Robocalls

 

“HEL-LO. I AM CALLING FOR BA-RACK O-BAMA. DID YOU KNOW THAT … AFTER WE LOST … THE VIETNAM WAR, JOHN McCAIN ‘PALLED’ AROUND WITH A COMMIE LEFTY … WHOSE UNDERGROUND TUNNELS WERE USED AS A BASE TO KILL THOUSANDS OF AMERICAN SOLDIERS.”

October 16th, 2008

Guess Who’s On ACORN’s Registration List? Joe the Non-Plumber!

“HE PROMISED TO SHOW UP ON ELECTION DAY, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 1 AND 5 PM.”

October 14th, 2008

Here’s One Squirrely Candidate Who CAN’T Find an ACORN

  

“MY FRIENDS, WE DON’T REGISTER FAKE VOTERS, WE JUST DRUG THEM SO THEY’LL VOTE FOR ME.”

 

October 14th, 2008

McCain’s ‘Self-Bailout’ Plan: Proposes Infusion of 250 Million Votes at Ballot Box

McCain at Rockefeller Center

“MY FRIENDS, THIS IS ABOUT THE ONLY WAY TO REINVIGORATE THE McCAIN CAMPAIGN. BUT DON’T WORRY, BIG BUSINESS WILL BE TAKING A MAJOR EQUITY STAKE IN MY ADMINISTRATION.”

——————————————————————————

Will the GOP Steal Another Election in 2008? BuzzFlash Talks with Greg Palast About Republican Voter Suppression.

August 1st, 2006

MEL GIBSON’S IMMACULATE EXCEPTION: ONLY PERSON MORE RACIST THAN L.A. COPS

Lost in all of the¬†hysteria over Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitic tirade is that “Mad Max” has¬†performed a huge public service for the LAPD, by demonstrating that someone can actually be more racist and offensive than their own officers.

Although Gibson blamed his outburst on alcohol, many speculate that he was really venting his frustration over failing to land the Matt Dillon role of the racist cop in the Oscar-winning movie, Crash.

However, there is really no dispute that Mr. Gibson’s intoxication played a major role in the incident, since the deputy who was asked by Gibson about his possible Jewish heritage –¬†was actually black.

While it has been widely reported that the LAPD initially tried to cover up the incident, the full extent of their attempt to “scrub” the record is now first coming to light.¬† Indeed, Gibson’s reported comment that he “owns Malibu” was really a doctored version of his actual words, that he “owned Malijew.”

In addition, the transcript of the confrontation was also changed to read that “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” when the original reflects that Gibson had instead claimed that “since the Jews are all the dermatologists, they’re responsible for all the warts in the world.”

Gibson’s offensive remarks were not¬†aimed¬†solely at Jews, as he also referred to a female officer as “sugar tits.”¬† Surprisingly, however, the blowback from this remark¬†has not come from the National Organization of Women, but from the National Society for the Prevention of Diabetes.

Gibson, however, did seem genuinely contrite about his anti-Semitic remarks, and promised to make it up to the Jewish people by casting one of their own in the title role, without any stunt doubles, in the remake of Passion of the Christ.

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