The Satirical Political Report

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January 3rd, 2009

Democratics Exact Revenge: Release CD of ‘Dick the Magic Vigo’

Dick, the magic Vigo, lived underground
And plotted to, control the world, so he could wear the crown
Coming back, from cardiac, beat all ghostbuster tricks,
Possessed man-child Bush, and stole his soul, so he could get his kicks

Dick, the magic Vigo, waterboarding undersea
Shredding the Constitution, citing Executive Uni-tary
Taking to evil to new heights, acting oh-so ’Darth Vader-ian’
We’d rather take our chances, with a 16th Century Carpathian

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/13839/15_2008/ghostbusters-for-web.jpg

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Best SNL Moments, at One Good Move. 

Hand-off in the Green Zone, at All Hat No Cattle.

December 28th, 2008

Your Top ‘Out of Your Head-lines’ of 2008

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

‘3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ‘9′ and an ‘11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

October 31st, 2008

Lawrence Eagleburger: ‘I Fear Palin Will Prepare Eagle Burgers’

“NOT ONLY IS SHE UNPREPARED TO SERVE AS PRESIDENT, SHE’S PREPARED TO SERVE OUR NATIONAL SYMBOL AS A MEAL TO JOE THE PLUMBER.”

October 22nd, 2008

Palin Explains the Constitutional Role of a Vice Shopper

“WHEN I CAN SEE THE WINDOWS AT SAKS FROM MY WINDOW, I HAVE THE FLEXIBILITY TO OCCUPY THE STORE, AND LOOT IT FOR MY PERSONAL ADVANTAGE.”

“I THINK SHE’S GOT IT, I THINK SHE’S GOT IT.”

October 16th, 2008

McCain Dumps Palin, For Joe the Plumber

“HE CAN SEE WATER RUSHIN’, FROM YOUR HOUSE.”

October 11th, 2008

Troopergate’s True Meaning: Palin Breaks a New Glass Ceiling

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE FIRST FEMALE POLITICIAN TO HARRASS A SUBORDINATE FOR HIS …  EX!

October 11th, 2008

What Troopergate Tells Us About a (God Forbid) Palin Vice Presidency

“YES, IS THIS THE U.S. MARSHAL’S SERVICE? … VICE PRESIDENT PALIN HERE.  DID YOU KNOW THAT PRESIDENT McCAIN WAS ABUSIVE TOWARD HIS FIRST WIFE AFTER HE RETURNED FROM VIETNAM?

October 6th, 2008

Sarah Palin Plays the Race Card Against Queen Latifah

“DON’T CHA’ THINK THE JOE SIXPACKS AND HOCKEY MOMS OF AMERICA WOULD PREFER A QUEEN LIKE ME, INSTEAD OF ONE WITH A MUSLIM NAME WHO ASKED ME TOUGHER QUESTIONS ON A COMEDY SHOW THAN THE REAL MODERATOR.”

October 4th, 2008

Palin’s Advice: Put MORE Vice in the Vice Presidency

“OF COURSE THE FOUNDERS WERE SMART ENOUGH TO PUT ENOUGH FLEXIBILITY THERE INTO THE CONSTITUTION, SO’S THAT THE VICE PRESIDENT HAS THE POWER TO DESTROY THE CONSTITUTION.” 

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Parody is poetry, with Palin at the bat.

October 3rd, 2008

About Palin: Didn’t this Bush with the Bush Sound Like ‘The Beaver?’

“GEE WHIZ, GOSH-DARN-IT, I BETCHA’ IT’D BE REALLY SWELL IF THE MAVERICK AND THE HOCKEY MOM ARE GONNA’ KINDA’ BE TAKIN’ OVER WASHINGTON.”

GEE WALLY, DOESN’T IT KINDA’ SUCK THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES HAVE THE PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER OF EDDIE HASKELL.”

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