The Satirical Political Report

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February 9th, 2010

GOP Demands Underwear Bomber Get Atomic Wedgie

“THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PROBABLY READ HIM HIS CARMEN MIRANDA RIGHTS EVEN BEFORE THEY FOUND OUT IF THERE WAS ANY FRUIT IN HIS LOOMS.”

February 5th, 2010

Larry King Strikes Back at Mitch McConnell

“I’LL BEAT THAT  SONUVABITCH MORE TIMES THAN I’VE BEEN MARRIED,  STRANGLE HIM WITH MY SUSPENDERS, THEN LEAVE HIS LIFELESS BODY ON THE TROLLEY CAR TRACKS IN  BROOKLYN.”

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Story at HuffPost.

Tea Party Fractures at All Hat No  Cattle, and Perrspectives on Convention Program: 10 Lessons for Tea Baggers

January 9th, 2010

Obama Refuses to Admit We’re at War … With Right-Wingers!

“KEITH, IT’S SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH TO TRY THE LIKES OF CHENEY, LIMBAUGH AND BECK IN A CIVILIAN COURT.  ONLY A WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL IS APPROPRIATE …  GIVEN THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT THEY POSE TO CIVILIZATION.”

January 8th, 2010

More Right-Wing Complaints: Obama’s ‘War on Terror’ Tattoo Too Weak

“CHRIS, IT’S REALLY NOT SUFFICIENT FOR THE PRESIDENT TO HAVE ‘AL QAEDA SUCKS’ TATTOOED ON HIS FOREHEAD; WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE IS A ‘MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER MOHAMMED’S HEAD.”

January 7th, 2010

Intelligence Agencies To Hire Spelling Bee Champs in Fight Against Terrorism

“Abdulmutallab. A-b-d-u-l-m-u-t-a-l-l-a-b. Now what do I win, a Connect-the-Dots book?”

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Misspelled Visa story, at TPM Muckraker.

And for Mashups instead of screwups, check out BartCopE!

January 7th, 2010

Christian Right Seeks ‘No Fly’ Status for ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

“HELL, WE’LL TAKE ISLAMO-FASCISTS OVER NON-BELIEVERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. IT’S NO SECRET WHO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH … AND WHO WE SEE AS A BIGGER THREAT.”

Meanwhile, our GOP friends in Congress also get into the action ….

“AND THIS JUST IN FROM THE HILL: CITING THE GROWING THREAT FROM THE ‘FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER,’ SENATOR TOM COBURN OF OKLAHOMA HAS CALLED FOR THE RETURN OF THE INFAMOUS TERRORIST THREAT CHART, TO KEEP TABS ON ‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.”

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Striking similar notes are BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Terrorists and Their GOP Enablers Who Terrorize Us; and Norm Jenson at One Good Move with Oldskool New Atheism.

January 3rd, 2010

British Intelligence Devises Anti-Terrorist Underwear: ‘Defends’

“SEE HERE, 007, IT’S KIND OF AN ‘ANTI-EJECTOR SEAT.’ AND GIVEN YOUR RIPE OLD AGE, THIS DEVICE MAY BE JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED TO CONTAIN BOTH YOU AND THE TERRORIST.”

December 31st, 2009

Homeland Security and Health Care To Be Combined at Airport Screenings

“WE’LL BE CHANGING THE NAME OF THE ‘TSA’ TO ‘T & A’, AND PROVIDING FREE MAMMOGRAMS AND VIRTUAL COLONOSCOPIES.”

December 30th, 2009

Cheney Claims Truman Pretended We Weren’t at War With Japan

“IF TRUMAN HAD BEEN REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THE WAR IN THE PACIFIC, HE WOULD’VE RIDDEN THE A-BOMB RIGHT DOWN TO HIROSHIMA.”

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Lisa Casey on Cheney Pretending He’s Not a Shameless Hypocrite, and Harry Shearer on Cheney’s Game.

December 29th, 2009

Terrorist Experts Caution: Don’t Always Trust a ‘Father’s Warning’

“HELLO, AMERICAN EMBASSY?  I’M CALLING ABOUT MY SON,  LUKE SKYWALKER, WHO’S BECOME INVOLVED IN A RADICAL MOVEMENT.  MAYBE YOU SHOULD PLACE HIM ON THE NO-FLY LIST.”

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Healthcare Reform Poll at BartCopE!, and Lisa Casey on the woman who should be permanently grounded.

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