“A SPOKESMAN FOR HOMELAND SECURITY SAID THAT THE LAST THING WE WANT TO WORRY ABOUT …  IS A POTENTIAL TERRORIST LIGHTING A FART.”

“He who smelt it — Delta’d it!”

“Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. As a  wealthy Nigerian firecracker merchant being persecuted by my government, I must immediately transfer $25 million worth of M-80s to your bank account, since I am eager to help your children fully enjoy the next July 4th celebration.”