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The Satirical Political Report

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June 5th, 2010

Bush Does Express ONE Regret Over Waterboarding

“I JUST WISH I COULD SOMEHOW GO BACK IN TIME, AND AUTHORIZE THE USE OF PRESENT-DAY WATER … FROM THE GULF OF MEXICO.”

December 25th, 2009

Cheney Advises the Pope to Torture His Attacker

“SO I SAID, ‘YOUR  HOLINESS, YA’ KNOW THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH USING A LITTLE HOLY WATER TO TEACH SOMEONE RELIGION’.”


June 2nd, 2009

Cheney Finally Compromises on Gitmo — Agrees to House Detainees in His Man-Sized Safe

Cheney

“I TOLD PRESIDENT OBAMA I’D BE GLAD TO ‘HAVE‘ THEM … WITH FAVA BEANS ON THE SIDE.” 

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Meg White at BuzzFlash: The Murder of Dr. George Tiller is Part of the War Against Women.

Lisa Casey Asks: How can the Dems ever match the GOP?

Juan Cole on Obama and Resolving the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict.

June 1st, 2009

Cheney Endorses Same-Sex Waterboarding

“I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT WATERBOARDING IS NOT TORTURE, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ALSO SUFFER THE INDIGNITY OF THROWING UP IN FRONT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.”

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Lisa Casey on the Dickster and his Two Amigos.

Dave Lindorff at BuzzFlash: Abortion Doctor is a Victim of America’s ‘Taliban’

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

May 24th, 2009

Obama Refuses to Release Photos Of Sasha and Malia’s Swingset

“THE LAST THING WE NEED NOW IS TO INFLAME AL QAEDA, WITH PICTURES PROVING WE HAVE SUPERIOR TRAINING FACLIITIES … COMPLETE WITH A WATERSLIDE.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on the Media-Hyped Obama/Cheney Face-off - Just Another World Wrestling Federation Ratings Event?

And Lisa Casey on a more fitting Cheney bully pulpit.

May 19th, 2009

CIA Explains Errors In Its Briefing Records: ‘Our Logs Were Waterlogged’

“A SPOKESMAN FOR THE CIA ALSO CONCEDED THAT THEY WATERBOARDED THE ACTUAL RECORDS ON WATERBOARDING, BY DUMPING THEM INTO THE BAY OF PIGS.”

TPM Muckraker with the latest smell on Intel, and the tortutred speak out on torture, at All Hat No Cattle.

May 18th, 2009

Cheney Raises Doomsday Scenario: The ‘BACKWARDS-Ticking Time Bomb’

“IN ORDER TO AVOID OUR ADMINISTRATION’S OWN DOOMSDAY, WE HAD TO TORTURE BEFORE TIME RAN OUT … TO RE-WRITE THE HISTORY OF IRAQ’S ‘CONNECTION’ TO 9/11.”

“HURRY UP, MARTY, WE HAVE TO GO BACK IN TIME AND PREVENT DICK CHENEY’S PARENTS FROM EVER MEETING.”

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TPM on the Cheney’s Waterboarding of the truth on Al Qaeda-Iraq 

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the GOP’s “Pelosi Diversion” – from the Architects of Torture and Murder: Cheney, Rumsfeld and Bush.

More on the Elephantine perversion of logic at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

May 16th, 2009

Cheney Admits One Instance Where Torture WASN’T Necessary

“I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO THREATEN HIM; I JUST SAID ‘GO OUT AND PLAY, LITTLE GEORGIE,” AND HE GAVE IT ALL UP — THE POWER, AUTHORITY, AND RESPONSIBILITY OF THE OVAL OFFICE.”

May 13th, 2009

The ULTIMATE Case for Gay Marriage

“ACCORDING TO OUR NBC/WALL ST. JOURNAL POLL, 85% BELIEVE THAT DICK CHENEY’S LESBIAN DAUGHTER, MARY, IS THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY WHO DOES NOT PRESENT A THREAT TO THE VALUES OF THE UNITED STATES.”

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Speaking of threats, Norm Jenson has the real story on The Patriot Act.

The Dreaded E-Word: Madkane on the GOP’s lack of empathy for empathy.

May 12th, 2009

Liz Cheney Defends Dad: ‘He Waterboarded Me Too’

Liz

“MOST KIDS JUST GET A BATH AND A RUBBER DUCK; I GOT WATERBOARDED AND RUBBER-HOSED.”

TPM Muckracker with the story.

Sen. Lindsey Graham Does His Best Cheney Impression, at BuzzFlash.

Lisa Casey on the GOP Devolution.

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