1. Re-sod Guantanamo.

2. Free sterilization of minorities.

3. All state aid in the form of loans — to be paid back to the “Republican National Committee.”

4. “Jet Stamps” — for corporate CEOs.

5. Expand Electric Grid, to facilitate comeback of the electric chair.

6. Mass transit funds — to deport “illegals.”

7. Tax credits for purchases of semi-automatic weapons.

8. Coupons for conversion of analog TV — to Rush Limbaugh radio.

9. Infrastructure spending — erect ten-story ‘Ten Commandments’ in every state capital.

10. Supplemental infrastructure spending — erect world’s largest solar panel directly over Nancy Pelosi’s office.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Keeping in the spirit, P.M. Carpenter with Naked Republican Goons 33 1/3: The Final Insult, and Madkane says No Quid? No Quo!.

Lisa Casey on the rush to genuflect before Rush.

A worthwhile John Updike tribute, via One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman’s latest political satire links.

Juan Cole with the early word on the Provincial Elections in Iraq.

10. I’d like to try a ‘Palin-Wink,’ but I’m afraid I just might fall asleep.

9. The way things are going, I feel like crawling into Bill Ayers’ “Underground.”

8. Glad I’m not running against Hillary, ’cause then I’d have to attack TV icon Marlo Thomas.

7. I just pray my adult diaper can hold all the shit I’m churning out.

6. If I see any of my old Navy girlfriends in the audience, remember to thank them for their “service.”

5. I hope Cindy remembered to TIVO those Matlock reruns.

4. Quote Teddy Roosevelt, but don’t mention he kicked my maverick ass out of the “Rough Riders.”

3. Offer Brokaw the job of announcing that I’ve been eaten by Sarah Palin’s wolves.

2. Pretend not to hear, if I’m asked how many dispossessed Americans I can put up in my 13 homes.

1. Find out if they’re still running “To Tell the Truth,” so I can find out if the real John McCain will stand up?

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin weighs in on the GOP Jostle for 2012. Do the hustle!

John Oliver of the Daily Show on The Stupid Votes, at One Good Move.

A new test for President, at All Hat No Cattle.

Dan Kurtzman with the That One Humor.

Juan Cole on McCain’s Unreal Debate.

10. NON-READERS DIGEST

 9. THE RUSSIAN OBSERVER

 8. THE JUNEAU JUNO

 7. SNOWMOBILE AND DRIVER

 6. POPULAR CREATIONISM

 5. BETTER IGLOOS AND TUNDRA

 4. UN-COSMOPOLITAN

 3. NEWSWEAK

 2. THE WASILLA FLAT WORLD-TELEGRAM

 1. THE NEW YORK REVIEW OF BOOK BURNING

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But it is truly amazing woman that Sarah Palin was listening to Joe Biden’s speeches as a seven year old — See clip at One Good Move.

Obama, the ‘Bailout,’ the Troublesome Left, FDR, and the Triumph of Pragmatism – by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

Madkane’s Ode To Crybaby Republicans.

Dan Kurtzman with the SNL Palin Spoofs.