“BY BRIBING THE PRISON WARDEN FOR AN ASSIGNMENT TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM, I’LL BE ABLE TO  CONTINUE DOING WHAT I DO BEST: PICKING POCKETS  TO ENRICH MYSELF WITH THE PREVAILING CURRENCY –  CIGARETTES AND  SHIVS.”

“WE’VE DECIDED TO GIVE THE TOP PRIZE TO BARACK OBAMA, JUST FOR NOT BEING TOM DeLAY, WHO THREATENED TO SET BACK THE ART OF DANCE TO BEFORE MAN COULD STAND ON TWO LEGS.”