The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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January 26th, 2009

Bill Kristol Departs The New York Times for ‘High Times’

“AS LONG AS HE CAN CUT DOWN ON HIS KRISTOL METH, HE’LL FIT RIGHT IN HERE.”

November 15th, 2008

Bush to World Leaders: ‘Tear Down Your MALLS’

“IT’S TIME FOR THE WORLD TO FOLLOW AMERICA’S LEAD, AND ALLOW THEIR CITIZENS THE FREEDOM TO STARVE, LIVE IN THE STREETS, AND USE THE NEW YORK TIMES FOR TOILET PAPER.”

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Mark Karlin’s reality check: The Myth of the Democratic Filibuster Proof Senate.

Bill Maher’s New Rules, at One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman with The Week’s Best Late-Night Jokes.

November 2nd, 2008

The Headline Banner Right Wingers Fear Most After Election Day

BLACK MAN ELECTED TO LEAD US
       OUT OF THE DARK AGES

October 13th, 2008

Obama’s Revenge: Whips Up Crazed Liberals

“AND SO, EVEN IF YOU FOLKS DON’T HAVE TIME TO WRITE YOUR SENIOR THESIS ON THE “EXCESSES OF THE MODERN MARKET FUNDAMENTALISTS,” I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU EMAIL A LETTER TO THE EDITOR OF THE NEW YORK TIMES.”

July 24th, 2008

The New John McCain Horror Movie: ‘I Know What You Did This Dumber’

“THE GAFFE  RIOT OF THE SUMMER” MSNBC.com

“I LAUGHED, I CRIED, I ALMOST THREW UP” - Arianna Huffington

“DON’T RUN, SURGE, TO SEE IT”The Drudge Report

“TWO THUMBS UP, HIS OWN ASS – Ebert & Roeper

“A SERIOUS CURE FOR WHAT AILES US”FOX News

“IN VIEW OF MY OWN RECENT FLOPS, MY SIXTH SENSE  IS THAT I SHOULD’VE WRITTEN THIS HORROR MOVIE ABOUT SEEING DEAD PEOPLE.” -M. Night Shyamalan

“McCAIN’S ACTION-PACKED HEROICS IN THE SUPERMARKET DAIRY SECTION IS THE PERFECT FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT.”  – Michael Medved

WE REFUSED TO REVIEW IT” - The New York Times

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Dan Kurtzman with the complete Political Gaffe Watch.

BuzzFlash reviews Thomas Frank’s new book: The Wrecking Crew: How Conservatives Rule 

 

The Dark Side author, Jane Mayer, on Letterman, at One Good Move. 

 

The Condi Legacy, by Lisa Casey.

 

 

July 23rd, 2008

McCain’s Op-Ed on Iraq Rejected by ‘The Pennysaver’

“OUR CUSTOMERS ARE LOOKING FOR ‘BARGAINS,’ NOT TRASH’.  THAT’S WHY HE CAN’T GET CLEARANCE FOR ‘CLASSIFIED’ INFORMATION.”

 

  Further Fake News Update : McCain’s Op-Ed Cartoons also rejected by NYT.

And Bush “Toasts” Wall St. – via Lisa Casey.

July 22nd, 2008

John McCain Resubmits His Op-Ed to The NY Times

“IF SENATOR OBAMA DOESN’T PROTECT CZECHOSLOVAKIASTAN – WHICH SHARES A BORDER WITH IRAQISTAN — FROM THE ARABS IN IRANISTAN, THEN HE PROBABLY DOESN’T UNNERSTAN’ THE IMPORTANCE OF RESTORING THE KING OF SIAM.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Ed Ciaccio at BuzzFlash: A Quiet Coup —  Cheney/Bush’s Steps To Martial Law.

Stephen Colbert on Barack Obama’s ‘Elitist Summer’ Abroad, via One Good Move.

Lisa Casey, on The ‘Oil Game.’

Dan Kurtzman has The Most Embarrassing Moments of Campaign 2008.

July 21st, 2008

NY Times Challenges Al Gore to Make ‘Climate Change Campaign’ More Dramatic

“WE THINK IT’S HIGH TIME THAT MR. GORE THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND STREAK NAKED ACROSS THE ARCTIC.  NOW, THAT WOULD REALLY DRAMATIZE THE PROBLEM OF GLOBAL WARMING AND GRAB THE PUBLIC BY THE BALLS.” 

“DESPITE THE NEW YORK TIMES, I FULLY EXPECT TO STAY IN PRIVATE LIFE,  AND TO KEEP MY PRIVATES IN A LOCKBOX.”

NY Times Editorial here.

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