“JUST RELAX SIR, IN A MATTER OF MOMENTS, OUR REVIEWERS IN MUMBAI WILL EVEN BE ABLE TO TELL IF YOU HAVE GAS, THUS PROVING TOM FRIEDMAN’S AXIOM THAT THE WORLD IS FLATULENT.”

“I JUST WISH I COULD SOMEHOW GO BACK IN TIME, AND AUTHORIZE THE USE OF PRESENT-DAY WATER … FROM THE GULF OF MEXICO.”

“HE’LL AGREE TO SING LIKE A CANARY, AS LONG AS HE GETS HIS FREQUENT FLYER MILES, A PREMIUM HOTEL ROOM IN MIDTOWN, AND A BROADWAY MUSICAL CALLED ‘SHAHZAD‘.”

“THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PROBABLY READ HIM HIS CARMEN MIRANDA RIGHTS EVEN BEFORE THEY FOUND OUT IF THERE WAS ANY FRUIT IN HIS LOOMS.”

“I’LL BEAT THAT  SONUVABITCH MORE TIMES THAN I’VE BEEN MARRIED,  STRANGLE HIM WITH MY SUSPENDERS, THEN LEAVE HIS LIFELESS BODY ON THE TROLLEY CAR TRACKS IN  BROOKLYN.”

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Story at HuffPost.

Tea Party Fractures at All Hat No  Cattle, and Perrspectives on Convention Program: 10 Lessons for Tea Baggers

“NOW, WE JUST WANNA’ MAKE SURE THAT HUNDREDS OF FLIGHTS ARE NOT DIVERTED ON THE MISTAKEN ASSUMPTION THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO LIGHT THEIR OWN FOREHEADS.”

The chillin’ Tefillin story below:

“KEITH, IT’S SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH TO TRY THE LIKES OF CHENEY, LIMBAUGH AND BECK IN A CIVILIAN COURT.  ONLY A WAR CRIMES TRIBUNAL IS APPROPRIATE …  GIVEN THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT THEY POSE TO CIVILIZATION.”

“CHRIS, IT’S REALLY NOT SUFFICIENT FOR THE PRESIDENT TO HAVE ‘AL QAEDA SUCKS’ TATTOOED ON HIS FOREHEAD; WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE IS A ‘MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER MOHAMMED’S HEAD.”

“Abdulmutallab. A-b-d-u-l-m-u-t-a-l-l-a-b. Now what do I win, a Connect-the-Dots book?”

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Misspelled Visa story, at TPM Muckraker.

And for Mashups instead of screwups, check out BartCopE!

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

“HELL, WE’LL TAKE ISLAMO-FASCISTS OVER NON-BELIEVERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. IT’S NO SECRET WHO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH … AND WHO WE SEE AS A BIGGER THREAT.”

Meanwhile, our GOP friends in Congress also get into the action ….

“AND THIS JUST IN FROM THE HILL: CITING THE GROWING THREAT FROM THE ‘FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER,’ SENATOR TOM COBURN OF OKLAHOMA HAS CALLED FOR THE RETURN OF THE INFAMOUS TERRORIST THREAT CHART, TO KEEP TABS ON ‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.”

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Striking similar notes are BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Terrorists and Their GOP Enablers Who Terrorize Us; and Norm Jenson at One Good Move with Oldskool New Atheism.