“I TOLD MICHAEL BESCHLOSS AND DOUGLAS BRINKLEY THAT THEY WERE WELCOME TO APPEAR ON THE SAME PROGRAMS WITH ME, AS LONG AS THEY DON’T PISS ON MY PET THEORIES.”

“I DECIDED TO GO WITH ONE OF THE FEW REPUBLICANS WHO COULD ACTUALLY SURVIVE THE ‘VETTING’ PROCESS WITHOUT FLEAS.”

“LISTEN, ABE, IF YOU HAD BROUGHT BILL AND HILLARY INTO YOUR TENT, YOU’D NEVER HAVE GOTTEN ANY SLEEP.”

“LET’S FACE IT, THESE GENTLEMEN HELPED END A CIVIL WAR, WHILE IF OBAMA PICKS TOO MANY CLINTONITES, IT MIGHT JUST RE-IGNITE THE ONE WE HAD IN THE 90’s.”

IT’S NOT TV– IT’S CHASE-BE-HO