“AFTER WATCHING TOO MANY TV LAND RERUNS OF LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, OUR BASE THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BEAT UP ON THE CLEAVER.”

Story here.

“THEY SCREAMED AT ME THAT THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE MANPOWER TO INSULT ALL OF US INDIVIDUALLY, AND THAT THEY WERE LOOKING TO ESTABLISH A NEW LEVEL OF EFFICIENCY THAT BIG GOVERNMENT COULD NEVER PROVIDE.”

“WE OPPOSE ANY GODDAMN, COCKS**KING FEDERAL GUMMINT ATTEMPT TO CURE OUR SICK MOTHER-F**KING BEHAVIOR.”