The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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January 10th, 2009

Obama-Solomon ‘Bridges’ the Divide Between Spending and Tax Cuts

Obama

“WE’LL CREATE JOBS BY BUILDING SCHOOLS, INFRASTRUCTURE AND THE GREEN ECONOMY IN THE BLUE STATES, WHILE WE GIVE THE RED STATERS JUST ENOUGH TAX RELIEF TO BUY THEIR BEEF JERKY FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR.”

November 2nd, 2008

McCain Appears on Meet the Press, to Clarify His SNL QVC Offer

“TOM, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT IF YOU’RE A PLUMBER MAKING OVER $250K, YOUR PURCHASES WILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR A TAX CREDIT.”

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Mark Karlin on The Real America vs. the Republican Party of Intolerance.

Bill Maher’s New Rules on the Best Election Over, at One Good Move.

And Lisa Casey Provides a Sneak Preview of … 2012!

November 1st, 2008

Ditched by Joe the Plumber, McCain Now Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

“MY FRIENDS, UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN ALL THE ‘JANITORS IN A DRUM’ WILL BE TAKEN TO THE CLEANERS.”

October 31st, 2008

McCain Claims Obama’s an Anti-Dentite

“UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN, TIM THE DENTIST WILL HAVE TO PAY MORE ON HIS EARNINGS FROM WIRING SHUT THE MOUTH OF SARAH THE BARRACUDA.”

“A little schtickel of GOP SUICIDE”?

October 29th, 2008

Socialism?: It All Depends on What Your Definition of ‘Ism’ Is

IF A REPUBLICAN LIKE ME TAXES BIG OIL AND GIVES THE REVENUE TO THE PEOPLE, THAT’S POPULISM. IF A DEMOCRAT LIKE BARACK OBAMA DOES IT, THAT’S CLEARLY SOCIALISM.” 

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Meg White at BuzzFlash on “Pinko” Palin and Her Socialist State, and Stephen Colbert on Obama The Socialist, at One Good Move.

October 24th, 2008

McCain’s Latest ‘Working Class Zero’: ‘Ashley the Masochist’

“UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN, MASOCHISTS LIKE ASHLEY WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE WHIPS AND CHAINS WITH WHICH TO BEAT THEMSELVES SENSELESS.” 

Ashley Todd Hoax

Ashley Todd = Reverse Sweeney Todd?

Crooks & Liars with the story.

October 23rd, 2008

McCain Campaign Now Packaging ‘Pete the Porn Star’

UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S TAX PLAN, PETE THE PORN STAR WON’T BE ABLE TO ‘GROW’ HIS BUSINESS, AND HE’LL BE FORCED TO ‘SPREAD HIS SEED’ TO UNDESERVING RECIPIENTS. NOW, THAT’S NOT THE AMERICA WE KNOW AND LOVE.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

NBC’s McCain-Palin Interview, at One Good Move.

American Street with the McCain Insult Watch.

Don’t forget to check out BartCop Entertainment.

October 21st, 2008

Is THIS How McCain Would Treat the ‘American Pie?’

“SON, WHEN I SAID YOU COULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT ONE DAY, I DIDN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD ‘SCREW THE PIE’  LIKE JOHN McCAIN.”

October 21st, 2008

Ohio Resident Puts the Final ‘Flush’ on ‘Joe the Plumber’

“WHEN I ASKED WHEN HE COULD COME TO FIX MY TOILET, HE SAID NOT UNTIL THE 12th OF ARMAGEDDON, AND EVEN THEN, ONLY SOMETIME BETWEEN NOON AND FIVE.”

October 21st, 2008

McCain, Hosed by ‘Phony Plumber,’ to Rely on Cartoon Characters

“NOW, UNDER SENATOR OBAMA’S SOCIALIST TAX PLAN, WIMPY THE HAMBURGER EATER WILL NEVER REALIZE HIS DREAM TO BECOME A FRANCHISEE OF McDONALD’S.” 

“I WISH THE McCAIN CAMPAIGN HAD SPOKEN TO ME FIRST. THANKS TO THE LAST EIGHT YEARS, NOW I CAN ONLY AFFORD VEGGIE BURGERS.”

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