“AS LONG AS THEY INSIST ON TAXING OUR BONUSES, WE’RE GONNA’ THROW THE TARP MONEY INTO THE EAST RIVER.”

Meg White at BuzzFlash strikes a similar chord with Tea Party Tantrums.

Lisa Casey on Buying Toxic Assets.

“MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT THE ‘CONTRACEPTION FUNDS’ BACK INTO THE STIMULUS PACKAGE, BEFORE OUR POPULATION STARTS TO CATCH UP WITH INDIA AND CHINA.”

9. During pre-game ceremonies, the US Airways crew was denied their request to demonstrate how to work a flotation device before a national audience.

8. For the coin toss, General Petraeus used a made-to-order coin with the sides “Surge,” and  “Surge.”

7. Mickey Rourke put Springsteen in a sleeper hold after the Boss failed to include ‘The Wrestler’ song in his half-time show.

6. Impressed with the Pepsi commercials in which everything blows up, the GOP recruited McGruber to run with Palin in 2012.

5. The stadium pirate ship  was taken over by Somali Pirates, who hijacked both teams’ running games.

4. Kurt Warner’s devastating interception was caused by his inability to communicate with God on his helmet radio.

3. The E*Trade Baby blew all his day-trading profits by betting the “under.”

2. When his home-state Cardinals fell behind at half-time, John McCain tried to get the game suspended.

1. Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes referrred to the “sticky Lombardi Trophy,” only after viewing the “feed switch” from the game to a pornographic film.

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And Dan Rosa with Arizonan Complains That 10 Seconds of Super Bowl Interrupted His Porn.

“THIS MAY BE THE FIRST CASE WHERE THE THE PRIVATE SECTOR STIMULATES THE GOVERNMENT. AND THE FIRST CASE WHERE WE FINALLY STIMULATE REAL BIPARTISANSHIP.”

[Lisa Casey weighs in with Wall St. Whineries.]

“HERE’S A SONG I THINK YOU KIDS WILL REALLY ENJOY — AND YOUR MOM AND I AGREE IT’S EDUCATIONAL TOO”:

Bush, the magic drag-on, the lame GOP
Bollixed his whole Presidency, in a land called Iraqi
Little Dickie Cheney, loved to play real rough
Pulled Dubya’s strings and sealed his fate with a lotta’ made-up stuff

Bush, the magic drag-on, a sound economy
Let Wall Street crooks have their way, with complete autonomy
Little Hankie Paulson, lookin’ not so sharp
Can’t find the funds that he doled out, hidden by a TARP

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Given Chip Saltsman’s “musical taste,” he wins BuzzFlash’s GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

All Hat No Cattle’s Phototoon Year in Review.

And Puff The Real Magic Dragon Ain’t Too Happy.

“WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? … I KNEW I COULDN’T PUT DANISH CARTOONISTS OR EVEN MOHAMMED ON THE CARD.”

The HanukXmas Card story here.

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MadKane’s carp on TARP: Who Needs Oversight, When You’re Spending Money You Don’t Have?

Lisa Casey with some real holiday spirit stocking stuffers.

Dan Kurtzman has the Top 10 Bushisms of 2008.

“We don’t want any money — just a literal TARP to completely cover a certain un-named Governor from Alaska.”