“HE’LL AGREE TO SING LIKE A CANARY, AS LONG AS HE GETS HIS FREQUENT FLYER MILES, A PREMIUM HOTEL ROOM IN MIDTOWN, AND A BROADWAY MUSICAL CALLED ‘SHAHZAD‘.”

“PUT YOURSELF IN OUR POSITION. WE DON’T WANT TO RUIN OUR HARD-EARNED REPUTATION.”

“IT JUST SERVES TO SIGNAL WEAKNESS TO OUR ADVERSARIES, SUCH AS THE AFGHAN HOUND. AND NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS GUY OBAMA, WHO DOESN’T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE, IS EVEN BOWING TO HIS OWN DOG.”

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Buzz Flash’s Mark Karlin on the Failure of Military-Industrial Complex: Won WW II Against Two Advanced Military Powers in 4 Years But Can’t Defeat Taliban in 8!

“IF THERE’S ANYBODY WHO CAN RECTIFY THE EGREGIOUS MISTAKES OF THE BUSH-CHENEY ADMINISTRATION, AND ACTUALLY GET TO OSAMA BIN LADEN IN HIS HIDDEN CAVE, IT HAS TO BE MICHAELE SALAHI, WHO CAN CLAIM SHE’S MERELY ONE OF BIN LADEN‘S 49 REAL HOUSEWIVES.”

“SALAHI? A GOOD ARAB NAME, AND SHE BRINGS HER OWN CAMERA CREW. YES, SEND HER IN, MAYBE WE CAN GET OUR OWN REALITY SHOW.”

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Lisa Casey on the Real White House Party Crashers.

Jon Perr’s Perrspective: Michael Moore’s Afghanistan Letter Rewrites History of Obama Campaign.

“AS THE REST OF THE WORLD SEES THAT HACK REPUBLICAN LAWYERS TORTURED THE LAW, THE ENTIRE PHILOSOPHY OF OUR PARTY WILL BE STRIPPED BARE LIKE A DETAINEE AT ABU GHRAIB.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on Murder He Wrote: Why Aren’t Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld Being Prosecuted? 

Madkane on the GOP: They Only Have Themselves To Blame.

Juan Cole on the Pakistan Crisis and Social Statistics.

“AS SOON AS THEY ASKED FOR SASHA AND MALIA’S SWINGSET, IT WAS A CLEAR SIGN I HAD TO SAY ALL BETS ARE OFF.”

“FORGET THE SWITCH FROM ANALOG TV, WE WANNA’ GET RID OF THE TVA.”

                           “WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT GOP IDIOTS.” 

[Yes, Virginia, there still is a Tennessee Valley Authority.]

“AND IF I KEEP PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH, THERE’S A 100% CHANCE PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL SEND ME TO DIRECTLY NEGOTIATE WITH THE TALIBAN.”

CQ Politics with the story.

And Dan Kurtzman with The Week in Political Cartoons.

“WE’RE CONCERNED THE VIAGRA IS BEING DIVERTED TO AL QAEDA AND THE TALIBAN. IN FACT, ALTHOUGH WE HAVE REPORTS THAT BIN LADEN IS NOW STANDING OUT HORIZONTALLY AS WELL AS VERTICALLY, WE STILL CAN’T CAPTURE THE SONUVABITCH.”

Story here.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on a real prescription for this country: Establish Medicare Part “E” for All Americans Under the Age of 65.

Madkane on Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!

Juan Cole on Top Ten Myths about Iraq, 2008.

Your complete entertainment guide at BartCop E!

“IN MY COUNTRY, EVEN THE TALIBAN ALLOWS WOMEN TO BE SEEN AND HEARD MORE THAN YOU.”