The Satirical Political Report

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December 2nd, 2009

Salahis Refuse to Testify in Congress, Unless NOT Invited

“PUT YOURSELF IN OUR POSITION. WE DON’T WANT TO RUIN OUR HARD-EARNED REPUTATION.”

December 2nd, 2009

Cheney Criticizes Obama’s Dog for Bow-Wowing

“IT JUST SERVES TO SIGNAL WEAKNESS TO OUR ADVERSARIES, SUCH AS THE AFGHAN HOUND. AND NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS GUY OBAMA, WHO DOESN’T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE, IS EVEN BOWING TO HIS OWN DOG.”

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Buzz Flash’s Mark Karlin on the Failure of Military-Industrial Complex: Won WW II Against Two Advanced Military Powers in 4 Years But Can’t Defeat Taliban in 8!

December 1st, 2009

Obama’s Shocking Afghan Plan: Send Michaele Salahi

“IF THERE’S ANYBODY WHO CAN RECTIFY THE EGREGIOUS MISTAKES OF THE BUSH-CHENEY ADMINISTRATION, AND ACTUALLY GET TO OSAMA BIN LADEN IN HIS HIDDEN CAVE, IT HAS TO BE MICHAELE SALAHI, WHO CAN CLAIM SHE’S MERELY ONE OF BIN LADEN‘S 49 REAL HOUSEWIVES.”

“SALAHI? A GOOD ARAB NAME, AND SHE BRINGS HER OWN CAMERA CREW. YES, SEND HER IN, MAYBE WE CAN GET OUR OWN REALITY SHOW.”

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Lisa Casey on the Real White House Party Crashers.

Jon Perr’s Perrspective: Michael Moore’s Afghanistan Letter Rewrites History of Obama Campaign.

April 25th, 2009

GOP: Release of ‘Torture Memos’ Poses Threat to Our Tortured Logic

AS THE REST OF THE WORLD SEES THAT HACK REPUBLICAN LAWYERS TORTURED THE LAW, THE ENTIRE PHILOSOPHY OF OUR PARTY WILL BE STRIPPED BARE LIKE A DETAINEE AT ABU GHRAIB.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on Murder He Wrote: Why Aren’t Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld Being Prosecuted? 

Madkane on the GOP: They Only Have Themselves To Blame.

Juan Cole on the Pakistan Crisis and Social Statistics.

March 8th, 2009

U.S. Potential Outreach to Taliban Hits a Snag

“AS SOON AS THEY ASKED FOR SASHA AND MALIA’S SWINGSET, IT WAS A CLEAR SIGN I HAD TO SAY ALL BETS ARE OFF.”

February 12th, 2009

Having Lost on Stimulus, GOP Now Targets Infrastructure of The New Deal

“FORGET THE SWITCH FROM ANALOG TV, WE WANNA’ GET RID OF THE TVA.”

                           “WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT GOP IDIOTS.” 

[Yes, Virginia, there still is a Tennessee Valley Authority.]

February 9th, 2009

Joe Biden: ‘There’s a 30% Chance Obama Locks Me in Cheney’s Safe’

“AND IF I KEEP PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH, THERE’S A 100% CHANCE PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL SEND ME TO DIRECTLY NEGOTIATE WITH THE TALIBAN.”

CQ Politics with the story.

And Dan Kurtzman with The Week in Political Cartoons.

December 27th, 2008

U.S. Uses Viagra in New Afghan ‘Dickplomacy’

http://www.defenselink.mil/dodcmsshare/homepagephoto/2007-06/hires_Votel2e.jpg

WE’RE CONCERNED THE VIAGRA IS BEING DIVERTED TO AL QAEDA AND THE TALIBAN. IN FACT, ALTHOUGH WE HAVE REPORTS THAT BIN LADEN IS NOW STANDING OUT HORIZONTALLY AS WELL AS VERTICALLY, WE STILL CAN’T CAPTURE THE SONUVABITCH.”

Story here.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on a real prescription for this country: Establish Medicare Part “E” for All Americans Under the Age of 65.

Madkane on Banks To Taxpayers: Drop Dead!

Juan Cole on Top Ten Myths about Iraq, 2008.

Your complete entertainment guide at BartCop E!

September 24th, 2008

Afghan Prez Karzai Educates This ‘Heroin’

“IN MY COUNTRY, EVEN THE TALIBAN ALLOWS WOMEN TO BE SEEN AND HEARD MORE THAN YOU.” 

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