“YOU SIMPLY SPRAY IT IN YOUR EARS TO PREVENT THE INVASION OF THE  FOX NEWS VIRUS CALLED H2N2 … HYSTERICAL NEWS SQUARED.”

“NOW LET’S SEE IF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION WILL PROTECT THIS COUNTRY, BY BUILDING A WALL AROUND THE EARTH TO KEEP OUT THE ILLEGAL ALIENS.”

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Lisa Casey on the latest GOP Makeover, and Madkane on Karl’s Roving Standards.

“I SAID, LOOK DAVID, IN THIS NEW FLU-PANIC ENVIRONMENT, WE CAN JUSTIFY YOUR RECLUSIVE DESIRE TO STAY AT HOME, AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO EXPOSE YOURSELF TO SUCH SWINE AS SCALIA OR THOMAS.”

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BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin: Quickest Route for an Obama Supreme Court Nominee is Ending the Filibuster.

“ACCORDING TO THE LATEST ECONOMIC DATA FROM THE AUTO MAKERS, ORDERS FOR NEW CONVERTIBLES ARE SUDDENLY OFF THE CHARTS.”

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Lisa Casey with the 100-Day State of the GOP, and Dan Kurtzman with Best Humor from Obama’s First 100 Days.

“BACHMANN’S A PUNK. I HATE PUNKS!”

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on the crazed Michele and Obama’s Luck in Having Lunatics for Political Opponents.

“IT’S WELL-KNOWN THAT KHALID SHEIKH MOHAMMED MET SOME YEARS AGO WITH ARNOLD ZIFFEL AT GREEN ACRES, AND THEN PASSED ON THE FLU WHEN HE BLEW WATER OUT THROUGH HIS NOSE AFTER WATERBOARDING.”

“AND BEST OF ALL, WHEN IT COMES TO WATERBOARDING, YOU CAN USE THIS AMAZING CLOTH OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN …. HEY CAMERAMAN, DON’T WORRY IF YOU MISS A SHOT, I’LL BE HAPPY TO DEMONSTRATE THIS ALL DAY LONG.”

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Waterboarding meets the Water Pik, at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane on Rick Perry’s tortured logic, in Secession? Did I Say Secession?