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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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August 24th, 2009

GOP Abandons Even Co-ops, In Favor of Chicken Coops

“WHO NEEDS SPECIALISTS OR HOSPITALS, WHEN WE CAN RETURN TO OUR AGRARIAN ROOTS, AND HAVE THE COUNTRY DOCTOR PERFORM ANESTHESIA-FREE SURGERY RIGHT THERE IN THE BARN.”

August 24th, 2009

Gang of Six to Approve Co-ops, for All Six People in their States

“WE BELIEVE THAT EACH OF OUR CONSTITUENTS IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN CO-OP, JUST AS THEY’RE CONSTITUTIONALLY ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN SENATOR.”

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Robert Reich at HuffPost on the small-state Senators with the big influence.

February 9th, 2009

Renegade GOP Senators Fear for Their Lives

“YOU KNOW, ARLEN, WE MIGHT BE BETTER OFF BEING RENDITIONED, INSTEAD OF GOING BACK TO THE GOP CAUCUS.”

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Staying on topic, Lisa Casey has the new face of the GOP.

And P.M. Carpenter at Buzzflash on Obama’s fading hope for bipartisanship.

February 8th, 2009
February 7th, 2009

‘Centrist Senators’ Cut Out Heart Defibrillators as ‘Non-Stimulative’

 

“BY CLUTTERING UP THIS BILL WITH LIFE-SAVING DEVICES, WE’RE JUST WORKING AGAINST OUR GOAL OF REDUCING UNEMPLOYMENT.”

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 P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on The Joy of Republican Hysteria, and Madkane says: Hey Republicans, Go Filibuster Yourselves!

February 6th, 2009

Centrist ‘Gang of 20′ Senators Took Instructions From Rumsfeld

Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman, I-Conn., Sen. Ben Nelson, D-Neb., and Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, after a meeting of Senate moderates on the economic stimulus bill being considered in the Senate on February 5, 2009

“RUMMY ADVISED THAT THE STIMULUS PACKAGE HAVE LESS MONEY THAN WAS LOOTED IN OUR FIRST WEEK OCCUPYING BAGHDAD.”

“One of the ‘knowns’ we know is that I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.”