“THE REASON I HAVEN’T SAID ANYTHING ON THE BENCH FOR OVER FIVE YEARS, IS THAT CITIZENS UNITED MONEY TALKS, WHILE BULLSHIT WALKS.”

Background here, and BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Clarence Thomas as Role Model for Conflict of Interest and Supreme Injustice.

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“Is it within the Constitution for me to write a bill … and get it signed by the president, that you have to eat three fruits and three vegetables every day.”

“Well,  Senator, even such a dumb law might be Constitutional, but I think you have to draw the line in the sand to guard against the well-known British rule: If you don’t eat yer meat, how can you have any pudding? How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat.”

“No Sicilian Civilian can refuse any request on his daughter’s of the Harvard community to exclude military recruiting on a LGBT wedding day.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin:  Everybody Shut the F*** Up and Confirm Elena Kagan Already!

“WE’RE MORE THAN HAPPY TO PAY OUR FAIR SHARE OF TAXES, AS LONG AS THE GUMMINT ADOPTS POLICIES BASED ON OUR TWISTED,  PARANOID HALLUCINATIONS.”

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Lisa Casey on the tea baggers in Oklahoma

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s ode to John Paul Stevens: Old Man Retires.

BartCopE! on Alice In Wonderland, Parenthood, Ugly Americans and the cancellation of 24.

“EVEN PEACEFUL USE , WITHOUT WEAPONS GRADE, MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO EVER SAFELY DISPOSE OF SUCH TOXIC WASTE MATERIAL.”

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Lisa Casey on the dangers of a toxic cup of  ‘Dixie.”

Madkane’s Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens.

“WHY COUNT BULLETS WHEN WE NEVER COUNTED BALLOTS; ALL WE’RE REALLY INTERESTED IN IS THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE BARBARIANS.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with the Nino Indictment: Wanted for Murder: Antonin Scalia.

“IF I OFFEND THE RIGHT WING BASE OF MY PARTY, THEY’RE LIKELY TO CHALLENGE THE LEGITIMACY OF MY ‘HATCH CERTIFICATE’.”

Story here.

While the Supreme Court made new law in ruling for the white firefighters in New Haven, the mainstream media neglected to report on just how culturally biased the written test questions actually were. Here are a few sample questions; judge for yourself:

1. The National Hockey League Flames played in what city before moving to Calgary?

2. What length of firefighter boots are also ideal for bass fishing? 

3. Identify the specific breed of cow owned by Mrs. O’Leary that started the Great Chicago Fire.

4. In Seinfeld, what firefighter’s job did Kramer perform in the race to save Leaping Larry’s Appliance Store?

5. What brands of white bread and mayo are favored by four out of five firehouse kitchens?

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Rebecca Freitag at BuzzFlash on Al Franken’s a Senator, No Joke. But What Kind?

More on Sanford and Sin at All Hat No Cattle.

Madkane’s Ode to Mark “Sweet Talker” Sanford.

“DESPITE MY PRIOR EXPERIENCE WITH PUBIC HAIR ON COKE, I NOW FAVOR THE OPPOSITE RESULT: A SEARCH FOR COKE IN PUBIC HAIR.”

The 8-1 Supremes ruling at the NYT.

“IN THE WORDS OF THE GRAND AYATOLLAH NINO SCALIA … ‘FUCK THE VOTE’.”

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Stephen Colbert on the North Korean Nutjob, via One Good Move.

Madkane on Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign!