“I REALLY ONLY DID IT TO RECOVER FROM A CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH KRYPTONITE, BUT I STILL FEEL THAT MY ABILITY TO FLY AND SEE THROUGH PEOPLE’S CLOTHES AT THE AIRPORT WAS A GOD-GIVEN GIFT. BUT AS FOR MY MASKED FRIEND HERE, I THINK HE’D ADMIT HE DID IT TO INCREASE HIS BAT-SPEED.”

“KEITH, THIS LATEST LAWSUIT BY LEO DONOFRIO CLAIMS NOT ONLY THAT BARACK OBAMA WEARS A BIG RED ‘S’ ON HIS CHEST, BUT THAT HIS HALF-BROTHER IS RAHM EMANU-EL, THE LONG-LOST SON OF JOR-EL.” 

Lisa Casey has the real Supreme Court story, and BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin reports on Obama the Community Organizer/Citizen of Chicago.