The Satirical Political Report

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November 6th, 2009

Halftime at ‘Super Bowl for Freedom’ Also Has a ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’

“REPORTS INDICATE THAT UNLIKE JANET JACKSON’S FLASH OF BREAST, THIS SHOW FEATURED A SELF-ANOINTED EMPRESS … ENTIRELY WITHOUT CLOTHES.”

February 3rd, 2009

Super Bowl Postscript: Top Ten Things the Media Didn’t Report

10. During Super Bowl week, Bank of America used their TARP funds to advertise its logo on a giant tarp covering the field.

9. During pre-game ceremonies, the US Airways crew was denied their request to demonstrate how to work a flotation device before a national audience.

8. For the coin toss, General Petraeus used a made-to-order coin with the sides “Surge,” and  “Surge.”

7. Mickey Rourke put Springsteen in a sleeper hold after the Boss failed to include ‘The Wrestler’ song in his half-time show.

6. Impressed with the Pepsi commercials in which everything blows up, the GOP recruited McGruber to run with Palin in 2012.

5. The stadium pirate ship  was taken over by Somali Pirates, who hijacked both teams’ running games.

4. Kurt Warner’s devastating interception was caused by his inability to communicate with God on his helmet radio.

3. The E*Trade Baby blew all his day-trading profits by betting the “under.”

2. When his home-state Cardinals fell behind at half-time, John McCain tried to get the game suspended.

1. Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes referrred to the “sticky Lombardi Trophy,” only after viewing the “feed switch” from the game to a pornographic film.

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And Dan Rosa with Arizonan Complains That 10 Seconds of Super Bowl Interrupted His Porn.

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