“THE PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION PROVIDES: ‘EVERY PERSON OF WEALTH AND MEANS HAS THE RIGHT TO SCREW PERSONS OF LESSER MEANS, IN THE PURSUIT OF THEIR OWN HAPPINESS’.”

“LET’S FACE IT, WITH ALL THESE DIM-WITS SPENDING MONEY ON CARFARE, HOTEL ACCOMODATIONS AND LET’S NOT FORGET TEABAGS, BY THE END OF THE FOURTH QUARTER, THIS COUNTRY IS POISED TO GROW LIKE A MALIGNANT TUMOR.”

“REPORTS INDICATE THAT UNLIKE JANET JACKSON’S FLASH OF BREAST, THIS SHOW FEATURED A SELF-ANOINTED EMPRESS … ENTIRELY WITHOUT CLOTHES.”

“OUR PLAN FULLY COVERS ALL PEDESTRIAN-PEDESTRIAN ACCIDENTS, AND AFTER YOU PAY A $500 DEDUCTIBLE, THE PLAN HOLDS DOWN COSTS BY ELIMINATING SURGERY IN FAVOR OF BODYWORK AND A BRAND NEW PAINT JOB.”

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Meg at BuzzFlash on the real House Republican Bogus Healthcare Plan: No Coverage for Preexisting Conditions.

“MADAM, IF YOU WERE MY CONGRESSPERSON, I’D POISON YOUR TEA.”

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The original Churchill quote.

5. Mean Mitch McConnell — Based on the iconic Coke commercial, the Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky refuses to give a homeless kid his extra button-down Brooks Brothers shirt.

4. The Glenn Beck Crying Trade Baby — Glenn promises you can trade your sanity for his hysterical idiocy in just seconds, all from the comfort of your own home.

3. Teabag 1984 — Forget the groundbreaking Apple commercial, Tea Party Wingnuts throw Tom the Hammer DeLay at the U.S. Constitution encased at the Smithsonian.

2. The Dudweiser Frogs – Rush, Sarah and Glenn sitting on a log in upstate NY’s Congressional District 23, croaking: “We –Fucked–Up.”

1. Clydesdales Playing Political Football: In a metaphor of the GOP “health plan,” the world-renowned horses kick around health care, until one breaks his leg, and then is shot by the others.