“I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED THAT THE SONUVABITCH HAD SHOT ME IN THE FACE … YOU KNOW WHAT, HE JUST DID.”

“A SPOKEPERSON FOR SENATOR McCAIN CLAIMS THAT A VERY, VERY TALL BLACK MAN ATTACKED THE GIRAFFE MASCOT AND CARVED A BACKWARDS ‘R’ ON HIS SIGN — IN ORDER TO SEND THE MESSAGE THAT THE REPUBLICANS ARE ASS-BACKWARDS. ”

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More on McCain’s Follies with Madkane’s McPettiness Express.

“READ MY LIPS — I WON’T BE GIVING ANY INTERVIEWS THAT’LL REVEAL I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I’M TALKING ABOUT.”