The Satirical Political Report » senate vote health reform

Grand Compromise in Senate? Public Option to Be Limited to Guy Named ‘Fred’

Don Davis — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:33:41 +0000

“AND JUST TO TRY TO GET SENATORS LIEBERMAN, NELSON AND LINCOLN ON BOARD, WE CHERRY-PICKED THIS GUY ‘FRED’ PRECISELY BECAUSE HE NEVER EVEN GOES OUT IN PUBLIC.”

GOP Leaders Assert Health Care Bill is Too WIDE

Don Davis — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:50:57 +0000

“IT’S REALLY A SLIPPERY SLOPE. ONCE YOU GO BEYOND THE TRADITIONAL 8�� x 11 BOND PAPER, IT’S CLEAR A BILL HAS TRANSGRESSED THE BOUNDARY INTO SOCIALISM.”

GOP Rips Off ‘Curb’ Finale in Attack on Health Care Reform

Don Davis — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:04:03 +0000

“TRUE, OVER 40,000 PEOPLE DIE EVERY YEAR FROM LACK OF HEALTH INSURANCE.� BUT HAVING SAID THAT, WE SIMPLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT.”

Viewers to C-SPAN: Opt-Out of GOP Colloquy, and Trigger Reruns of ‘Booknotes’

Don Davis — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:37:10 +0000

“WE INTERRUPT THIS DEBATE IN ORDER TO ADMINISTER LIFE-SAVING CPR TO OUR VIEWERS.”

GOP to Filibuster Health Care Reform By Reading ‘Theodoric of York’

Don Davis — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:16:49 +0000

“IF THE HEALTH PLAN OF THE DEMOCRAT PARTY PASSES, THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL THEN BECOME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BLOODLETTING LEECHES.”

Harry Reid Goes Extra Mile for Votes of Lincoln and Landrieu

Don Davis — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:28:49 +0000

“WE’RE PREPARED TO ERECT LEVEES AROUND SENATOR LANDRIEU TO PROTECT HER FROM RIGHT-WING ATTACKS, AND TO ACTUALLY MAKE A GENDER CHANGE TO THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL TO PLACATE THE SENATOR FROM ARKANSAS.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the “Greatest” healthcare system’s need to “erect”� more nurses.