“NOW, CANTEEN BOY, IF YOU EVER GROW UP TO BE A REPUBLICAN, I SWEAR I’LL COME BACK AND REALLY SCREW YOU.”

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Story here.

“EVERYDAY, IT’S BECOMING CLEARER TO ME THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE MESSAGE OUT … IS TO HIT THE PEOPLE WITH A 4X4.”

“I THOUGHT IT WAS A WICKED PISSA WHEN I HEARD ABOUT THIS ‘BROWN,’ IN A TRUCK, ASKING ‘WHAT HE CAN DO FOR YOU’ — AND PROMISING TO DELIVER FROM WASHINGTON.”

“ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, USING IRRATIONAL NUMBERS, IF THE DEMOCRATS DON’T DELIVER ON THEIR PROMISES BASED ON REPUBLICAN OBSTRUCTION , WE WICKED PISSA ON OURSELVES BY ELECTING THOSE SAME WICKED REPUBLICANS.”

“MR. BROWN, YOU’VE GOT SOME LOVELY DAUGHTERS.”

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Story here.

“IF IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR US, EVERY CITIZEN SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO THE SAME PROCEDURE.”

“WE BELIEVE IT’S A MOBILE DEVICE, BEING TRANSPORTED IN A TRUCK, AND IT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO CREATE A MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER THE ENTIRE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Progressives and Populists Need to Redefine the Mythical Political “Center.”

Wanted: The Real Inventors of WMD, at All Hat No Cattle.

“THIS COULD BE THE FIRST TIME THAT A CANDIDATE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR PICKING UP AND HAVING SEX WITH HIS PICK-UP.”

“EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU SHOULD JUDGE A CANDIDATE BY THEIR CHARACTER — NOT BY WHAT THEY HAVE BETWEEN THEIR LEGS.”

“HEY, IT’S REALLY PERFECT.  I’M FROM MASSACHUSETTS, I CAN HANDLE ANY  LATE-NIGHT SENATE SESSIONS, AND I CAN FILL IN FOR BARACK WHEN HE GOES TO CAMP DAVID.”