The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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October 24th, 2008

The REAL Reason Palin Has Refused to Release Her Medical Records

Palin's Medical Records

“WELL, BRIAN, THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS THAT EVERY MONTH I GET A ‘QUESTION MARK,’ INSTEAD OF A ‘PERIOD’.”

Story at Crooks & Liars

October 2nd, 2008

McCain’s Latest Hail Mary: Promises to Put Palin ON The Supreme Court

“IT’S PRETTY CLEAR THAT SHE WON’T BE PREJUDICED BY ANY PRECEDENTS, AND BESIDES, I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HER IN A ROBE.”

October 2nd, 2008

Sarah Palin and Katie Couric to Switch Places

“MY PLAN WORKED PERFECTLY.  JUST BY HANGING WITH PALIN OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS, MY GRAVITAS SHOT WAY UP OFF THE CHARTS, AND NOW I CAN RUN FOR NATIONAL OFFICE. AND SARAH CAN DO WHAT SHE ALWAYS SET OUT TO DO: READ THE NEWS OFF THE TELEPROMPTER.”

October 2nd, 2008

Palin Reveals to Katie Her Favorite Supreme Court Justice

WELL, I LIKE THEM ALL, REALLY, BUT I GUESS IT’D HAVE TO BE JUDGE JUDY, SINCE SHE’S A STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO I THINK BEST REPRESENTS THE REPUBLICAN IDEAL OF A STRICT DESTRUCTIONIST.”

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Check out Palin’s Greatest Hits, at One Good Move, and Dan Kurtzman’s Sarah Palin Quiz.

And Tony Peyser with a Verse-Case Scenario, on Palin’s averageness and McCain’s anger – at BuzzFlash.

October 2nd, 2008

Newly Discovered Footage of Sarah Palin: Giving High School Book Report

“AND SO, ACCORDING TO DICKENS, IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, AND ALSO THE WORST OF TIMES, AND THAT WAS EVEN TRUE DURING VARIOUS TIMES OF THE DAY, AND DICKENS KNEW THIS, BECAUSE HE WAS ABLE TO REAR HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS OFFICE WINDOW AND SEE BIG BEN.”

September 26th, 2008

Putin to Seek Governorship of Alaska

“NOT ONLY CAN I SEE ALASKA FROM MY DACHA, BUT WHEN THE PRESENT GOVERNOR REARS HER AIRHEAD, IT’S MORE OF A DANGER TO RUSSIAN AIRSPACE THAN CHERNOBYL.”

September 15th, 2008

Sarah Palin Explains Why She’s Qualified to Handle the Nation’s Financial Crisis

“CHARLIE, I’VE GOT A SNOW BANK JUST 50 FEET FROM MY HOUSE.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on John McCain’s Road to Perdition.

Madkane weighs in on the Dems’ Palin Panic.

Brad Blog on GOP Campaigns, past and present.

September 13th, 2008

Palin Asserts She’ll Do Better Than McCain with Whoopi and Barbara

“CHARLIE, I CAN DEAL WITH THOSE WOMEN, BECAUSE IN MY GOVERNOR’S OFFICE, I HAVE A VIEW OF ‘THE VIEW’.”

September 12th, 2008

Forget ‘For-eign’ Policy, Attila from Wasilla Knows ‘Far-Out’ Policy

‘I GUESS A SMALL-TOWN MAYOR, IS KINDA’ … LIKE … A VIABLE NATIONAL CANDIDATE … BUT WITH ‘IRRESPONSIBILITY‘.” 

September 12th, 2008

Palin to Charlie Gibson: I’m Not a Risk, Since I’ve Played ‘Risk’

“NOW CHARLIE, WHILE GOVERNOR OF ALASKA, I BEAT BACK AN INVASION FROM KAMCHATKA AND YAKUTSK, SAVING NOT ONLY ALBERTA, BUT THE ENTIRE NORTHWEST TERRITORY, FROM A LIFETIME OF EATING BORSCHT INSTEAD OF MOOSEBURGERS.” 

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