The Satirical Political Report

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November 10th, 2009

Carrie Prejean Endorses ‘Uni-Sex’ Relationships

“I BELIEVE THAT TRADITIONAL SEX TAPES SHOULD BE BETWEEN YOU AND YOURSELF, AND ONLY WATCHED BY YOUR BOYFRIEND OR NATURAL BIRTH MOTHER.”

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Lisa Casey on the new GOP brand of very direct marketing, and Dan Kurtzman with Political Cartoons of the Week.

November 4th, 2009

Shocker in Maine: Majority of Anti-Gay Voters ‘Casturbated’ at the Polls

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CwBSOIc2lw8/SHY4kb4eS7I/AAAAAAAABKA/3vjs57rSWXw/s400/chuck-todd-and-rachel-maddo.jpg

“SO, CHUCK, CAN’T WE THEN CONCLUDE THAT WHAT THESE ‘VALUES VOTERS’  APPARENTLY VALUED THE MOST WAS THE VERY IDEA OF FUCKING GAY PEOPLE.”

October 29th, 2009

Monty Python Reunion Show Spurs Renewed Search for The Holy Grail

The recent six-part Monty Python Reunion show, featured on the Independent Film Channel, has created a resurgent wave to find the Holy Grail among a new generation of Christian evangelicals in America.

Although these born-agains had not even heard of the artsy IFC, and wouldn’t have watched it anyway, they claim that the Python reunion series appeared to them in their morning toast — on a day that Jesus just happened to be on sabbatical.

This renewed crusade is particularly important to these Christians in light of their belief that Barack Obama is the modern day equivalent of the Black Knight, who refuses to quit his evil ways, even after being repeatedly cut down by the FOX News channel.

Although they are tracing the steps of the Pythonites in their search for the Holy Grail, these 21st Century Crusaders have decided to make some minor modifications, such as replacing the Trojan Rabbit with a Trojan Easter Bunny.

However, in a shocking setback to the quest of these evangelicals, the skies opened up to reveal not God, but a vision of the deceased Graham Chapman, who not only confirmed that he is gay, but that Heaven endorses same-sex marriages between angels.

June 1st, 2009

Cheney Endorses Same-Sex Waterboarding

“I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT WATERBOARDING IS NOT TORTURE, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ALSO SUFFER THE INDIGNITY OF THROWING UP IN FRONT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.”

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Lisa Casey on the Dickster and his Two Amigos.

Dave Lindorff at BuzzFlash: Abortion Doctor is a Victim of America’s ‘Taliban’

Dan Kurtzman’s The Week in Political Cartoons.

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