“WHEN IT’S SO CLEAR THAT RUSH LIMBAUGH CAN’T EVEN CARRY THE WATER FOR A BUNCH OF AMATEURS LIKE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, WHY WOULD HE BE ALLOWED TO DO SO FOR A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL TEAM.”

9. PLAYERS WOULD BE LEFT SCRAMBLING FOR PAINKILLERS PILFERED BY LIMBAUGH

8. RAMS’ ‘THROWBACK’ UNIFORMS WOULD BE WHITE HOODS

7. DEFENSIVE PLAYERS WOULD BLITZ  OWNERS’ BOX INSTEAD OF OPPOSING QUARTERBACK

6. RUSH WOULD ACCUSE INJURED PLAYERS OF ‘PULLING A MICHAEL FOX’

5. ICONIC RAMS’ HORN ON HELMET REPLACED BY ‘DITTOS’

4. AL FRANKEN PUBLISHES NEW BOOK: RUSH LIMBAUGH IS SENDING IN BIG FAT IDIOTIC PLAYS

3. PRE-GAME TAILGATING REPLACED BY TEABAGGING PARTIES

2.  FOR PRO BOWL SELECTIONS, RUSH ORDERS TEAM TO VOTE FOR HILARY CLINTON 

1. TO BOLSTER RUNNING GAME, LIMBAUGH URGES OFFENSIVE LINEMAN TO ‘BLOCK FOR THE MAGIC NEGRO’

And for changes to Rush’s radio program, Limbaugh crows that he’s finally achieved his life goal: To become a ‘MINORITY OWNER’

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Antonin Scalia and Glenn Beck: Just Two Degrees of Radical Separation.

Lisa Casey profiles the typical Limbaugh caller.

Jon Perr on some Nobel nominations for conservatives.

Dan Kurtzman with the complete round-up of Obama Nobel Jokes.