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The Satirical Political Report

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February 5th, 2011

GOP Celebrates Ronald Reagan’s 2011th Birthday

AS RONALD REAGAN FAMOUSLY SAID, THE NINE MOST TERRIFYING WORDS IN THE LATIN LANGUAGE ARE:

I’M FROM THE ROMANS, AND I’M HERE TO HELP.

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Jon Perr on Ronald Reagan’s “Triple Legacy.”

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Surge in Minority Growth Fuels Pathological Hysteria of the Tea Party and Right Wing.

Recommended Reading Links, at BArtCopE!

August 7th, 2010

Citing Massive Russian Fires, NeoCons Claim Reagan Won The ‘Hot War’

“BY ABANDONING ALL EFFORTS TO REDUCE THE WORLD’S RELIANCE ON FOSSIL FUELS, RONALD REAGAN WON THE ‘COLD WAR,’ THE ‘HOT WAR,’ AND PROVED HE’S A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS.”

“THE BARBECUING WILL BEGIN IN TWENTY-SIX YEARS … AND FIVE MINUTES.”

August 1st, 2010

David Stockman Blasts Reaganomics, But NY Times Drops Graphic

When I submitted ‘Four Deformations of the Apocalypse,’ to the NY Times Op-ed page, I expected they would also use an appropriate graphic.”

Article here.

July 27th, 2010

GOP Pushes For ‘Conservative’ Infrastructure Spending

“LET’S GET THIS COUNTRY BACK TO WORK BY ERECTING IN EVERY HAMLET, TOWN, AND CITY A GIANT STATUE OF JESUS, HOLDING AN AUTOMATIC WEAPON IN ONE HAND, AND A COPY OF  RONALD REAGAN’S HIT RECORD IN THE OTHER.”

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Missing Iraqi infrastructure billions, at All Hat No Cattle.

The Citizens United decision brings down a responsible company, at BartCopE!

November 18th, 2009

Glenn Beck: Reagan Would’ve Demanded That Hu Tear Down ‘The Great Wall’

“LET’S FACE IT, IF RONALD REAGAN HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONFRONT HU JINTAO, MENUS IN CHINESE RESTAURANTS WOULD NO LONGER BE DIVIDED BETWEEN ‘COLUMN A’ AND ‘COLUMN B’.”


[Historical Note: Ronald Reagan did visit China in 1984.]

February 4th, 2009

Obama Finally Wises Up: Says ‘Effin BYE to Bipartisanship!’

“My fellow citizens. I assumed the office of the Presidency with the best of intentions — to try to change both the culture of Washington, and the way business is done here.

But after just two short weeks, I realized that I was HOPE-lessly naive. That trying to negotiate with the know-nothing Neanderthal, Limbaugh-ass-sucking, tax-cut-a-saurus, fickle-down Reagan-worshipping Rethuglicans, is about as pointless as trying to resuscitate our ailing economy by exporting tea to China.

So here’s the REAL CHANGE I’m now proposing:  

Forget the bank bailouts, we’re gonna use the  remaining TARP dollars to buy up the TOXIC GOP ASSES from Congress.  For far less than the cost of any stimulus package to the Treasury, we’ll put these “bad asses” in a “bad holding tank,” where they can’t do any further damage to this great nation.

I know I promised to close Guantanamo, but it’s clear that the legal system is simply not equipped to deal with these nihilsts who are out to destroy our very way of life. 

But let’s be clear — the WAR ON ERROR will not be won in a year, or even during this generation. We must remain ever-vigilant against these malefactors of great mischief.

And now that I finally did what I had to do to the Rethuglicans, it’s time for a smoke.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin strikes a similar note: Water Doesn’t Trickle Down the Middle of the Road, President Obama.

Dick Cheney’s New Wheelchair, at All Hat No Cattle.

The Daily Show’s  Big ‘Bama’s House – at One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman’s Political Cartoons of the Week, and Obama the Comedian.

November 8th, 2008

Exclusive Transcript of the Obama-Nancy Reagan Phone Call

“MR. PRESIDENT-ELECT, I JUST SPOKE TO RONNIE, DWIGHT EISENHOWER AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN, AND THEY ALL SAID THE SAME THING: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT BRINGING ANY OF THESE CRAZY ASS, KNOW-NOTHING REPUBLICANS INTO YOUR ADMINISTRATION!”

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Staying on topic, P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Palin’s Legacy: The Agony of Ignorance.

Lisa Casey has the perfect vacation spot for retiring Republicans.

Rachel Maddow on the Colbert Report, at One Good Move.

November 1st, 2008

Another ‘Bad Sign’ for McCain: Obama Endorsed by Nancy Reagan’s Astrologer

“YES, THE STARS ARE NOW ALIGNED FOR A BLACK MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE, AND AN INSANE MAN IN THE OUTHOUSE.” 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Ron Reagan’s Support of Obama: The Reagan Era Takes a Detour.

Dan Kurtzman with The 10 Funniest Gaffes of Campaign 2008.

Keith Olbermann with John Cleese, Obama Supporter, at One Good Move.

October 15th, 2008

Talk About Race! Isn’t McCain the Real ‘Chocolate Candidate’

JOHN McCAIN IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GONNA GET.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: McCain’s Secret Plan to “Get” Osama and Nixon’s Secret Plan to End the Vietnam War.

Norm Jenson has John Cleese on Sarah Palin and The Daily Show’s Clusterfuck to the Poor House.

Juan Cole: The Great Reagan Pyramid Scheme Comes Crashing Down.

Dan Kurtzman presents Funny Political Bumper Stickers.

September 26th, 2008

GAME ON! A Sneak Preview of McCain’s Opening Remarks at Tonight’s Debate

“MY FRIENDS, I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN UNITE THIS COUNTRY.  IN FACT,  I’M ONLY HERE TONIGHT BECAUSE MY CONGRESSIONAL COLLEAGUES, ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE, TOLD ME TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF WASHINGTON.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s P.M. Carpenter on McCain putting Country Last.

Palin as a caricature of a Vice Presidential candidate, at One Good Move. 

Lessons of the Fall: Ike’s In, Reagan’s Out, by Eugene Jarecki at HuffPost.

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