“DOESN’T TAKE A GENIUS TO SEE WHAT THEY’RE REALLY AFTER IS MY PERSONAL ARSENAL AND CONFEDERATE FLAG.” 

“JUST BRING YOUR GASBAG REPUBLICAN REPRESENTATIVE TO THE LOCAL CAR DEALER, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. AND WE WON’T EVEN REQUIRE PROOF OF THEIR AGE THROUGH THEIR BIRTH CERTIFICATES.”

“BUT JUST TO ENSURE YOU ALL HAVE PLENTY OF MATERIAL TO LAST A LIFETIME, THIS SPEECH WILL SERVE AS A KIND OF HIGHLIGHT REEL OF ALL MY IDIOTIC, DISJOINTED AND HEAD-SCRATCHING COMMENTS.” 

Dan Kurtzman has the complete anthology of Sarah Palin’s Greatest Hits.

Ad Copy:

“Once you’ve dealt with screwing your constituents, don’t let erectile dysfunction get in the way. VIVA … VIAGRA! Viagra, America’s most prescribed treatment for hypocritical, sexually repressed evangelicals. Before using, ask Dr. Tom Coburn if you or your parents have enough hush money to keep your mistress and her husband quiet. Side effects may include blurred vision (never mind, you already had that), upset spouses and flushing your career away. If an erection lasts for more than four hours, that’s a good thing — at least it’ll keep you from voting to deny health insurance to working-class Americans.”

“A CHRISTIAN HOUSE OF ILL-REPUTE, DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF, CANNOT STAND WITHOUT BEING A LAUGHINGSTOCK.”

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Lisa Casey previews an even bigger GOP Horror Show — The Republican Presidential Ticket in 2012.

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: On health-care reform, a surprising assist from Republicans.

[Sung to the tune of "YMCA"]

GOP man, if you want to go down.
With a woman, with whom you don’t have a vow
GOP man, if you don’t want to leave town
There’s no need … to … fly to Buenos

GOP man, there’s a place you can go.
GOP man, where wild oats you can sow
You can stay there, and I’m sure you can pray
For salvation, and perhaps a Three-Way

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

They have everything, for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with Christ, and use our in-house sex toys 

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

You can get yourself laid, deduct the cost of your meals,
Plot for school prayer, and to undo the New Deal

GOP man, do you seek guarantees?
That you can hide your, blatant hy-pocrisy?
GOP man, you can visit the Lord
And a  … smokin’ … Christian hot broad

It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet
It’s fun to stay at the … C Street Chalet

[Editor's Note: Any resemblance between the Indian Chief and Michael Steele is purely coincidental.]

“Senator Graham, in response to your questions about the Second Amendment, and whether the right to own a gun is fundamental, let me be clear:

“I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill.  Kill.  I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth.  Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL.”  And if my ankle wasn’t broken, I’d be jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and “KILL.”

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From GOP Crashes, to Mashups, at BartCopE!

“SENATOR ENSIGN, YOU COME TO ME ON THE DAY YOU SCREWED THE WIFE OF YOUR TOP AIDE, AND YOU ASK ME TO KILL THE COMMANDMENT OF ”THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY?”

AlterNet with the Transcript of The Rachel Maddow Show on the Family — Washington D.C.’s “C Street House,”

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BuzzFlash with Tom Coburn as GOP Hypocrite of the Week, and Mark Karlin on Liz Cheney as Dick’s Mole in the State Department.

Norm Jenson with The Daily Show’s White Men Can’t Judge.

Dan Kurtzman with the Sonia Sotomayor Joke Round-Up.

“THE ONE THAT REALLY INFLUENCED ME WAS WHERE THE PROSECUTOR DELIBERATELY FRAMED AN INNOCENT MAN, HAD HIM SENT TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR, AND THEN HAD HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY, PERRY MASON, BEAT UP SO BAD … THAT HE WAS PERMANENTLY DISABLED.”

Story here.