“JOHN, PERHAPS IF THE CATHOLICS WERE TO FOLLOW SUIT, THEY JUST MIGHT BE ABLE TO DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST THEIR OWN PRIESTS.”

One Good Move with the God-Smacked Video, and Arizona’s Ultimate Slighting at All Hat No Cattle.

“WE DON’T REALLY CARE IF HE’S A BLATANT HYPOCRITE, BUT RENTING INSTEAD OF OWNING IS SO GAY, AND UN-AMERICAN.”

Story on the Rentboy.com scandal at HuffPost.

Lisa Casey on Laura Bush on her low-rent mother-in-law.

James Dobson, of Hocus-Pocus on The Family

“HELL, WE’LL TAKE ISLAMO-FASCISTS OVER NON-BELIEVERS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. IT’S NO SECRET WHO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH … AND WHO WE SEE AS A BIGGER THREAT.”

Meanwhile, our GOP friends in Congress also get into the action ….

“AND THIS JUST IN FROM THE HILL: CITING THE GROWING THREAT FROM THE ‘FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER,’ SENATOR TOM COBURN OF OKLAHOMA HAS CALLED FOR THE RETURN OF THE INFAMOUS TERRORIST THREAT CHART, TO KEEP TABS ON ‘CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS.”

——————————————————————————————————————-

Striking similar notes are BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Terrorists and Their GOP Enablers Who Terrorize Us; and Norm Jenson at One Good Move with Oldskool New Atheism.

“AS CURRENTLY CONSTITUTED, NOT ONLY DOES THE LAST HOLE LOOK LIKE BUDDHA, BUT SINCE YOU ALSO LOSE YOUR BALL, THERE’S JUST NO PATH TO REDEMPTION.”

———————————————————————————————————————-

More on Buddhism and the modern-day Elmer Gantry, at All Hat No Cattle.

“ACCORDING TO REPORTS, IN A BIZARRE VARIATION OF THE BOSTON TEA PARTY, THE PROTESTORS PLAN TO DRESS UP AS SWISS GUARDS, ERECT A GIANT STATUE OF THE POPE ENTIRELY OUT OF SWISS CHOCOLATE, AND THEN CARVE IT UP WITH A SWISS ARMY KNIFE.”

“OK, TIFFANY, YOU MAY HAVE OVERREACTED A BIT.  NEXT TIME, JUST STICK THE 

 GUY IN THE SMOKING SECTION.” 

Norm Jenson with  the video of Bart Ehrman on Colbert – The Bible, a Big Fat Lie.

And make sure you check out this year’s Blog Against Theocracy.

“IF SENATOR OBAMA GETS ELECTED, HE PLANS TO CHANGE THE CURRENCY FROM ’IN GOD WE TRUST’ TO ’IN MORGAN FREEMAN WE TRUST’.”

In an attempt to rebut the mounting evidence that her record as a “reformer” is a sham, GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced today that she will be auctioning off running mate John McCain on eBay.

Surrounded by representatives of both the evangelical and tax-cutting wings of her party, Palin asserted that this would be “the best way to cut Government waste, especially since we don’t need a recent convert who only became a believer in God during this past election cycle.”

In attendance was Dr. James Dobson of the organization “Hocus-Pocus on the Family,” who indicated that his group might bid for and buy McCain, for the purpose of keeping him in a lockbox for the duration of a Palin Presidency.  Dobson added that the man-sized safe kept by Dick Cheney in his office might prove to be perfect for the job.

Alternatively, some of the GOP faithful were more inclined to burn McCain as a fossil fuel, but as a concession to the alternative energy crowd, only after utilizing the old man’s potential as a source of mighty wind.

Experienced eBay users were skeptical, however, that McCain could attract a substantial price at auction, pointing out that his value has greatly declined ever since the former maverick himself utilized eBay — with the obvious help of his aide — to sell his own soul.

———————————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash Editor Mark Karlin on Palin’s Offenses Against Rape and Domestic Violence Victims.

Jon Stewart on Blink, Not Sarah, at One Good Move.

More McCain-Palin Posters, at All Hat No Cattle.

History Lesson: Wall Street, Economy Do Better Under Democrats – at Perrspectives.

$149 — 43 boxes of Mooseburger Helper

$289 – Christian Dior ’Pit Bull’ Lipstick 

$666 – eBay bid for a James Dobson autographed copy of How to Convert a Gay Jew.

$213 — Cans of Lighter Fluid, for book-burnings in backyard

$487 — Hockey sticks for clubbing baby seals

$17.99 — A copy of Karl Rove’s Vindictive Firing of Government Employees for Dummies  

$37 — Olive oil for salads (No Extra Virgin for daughter Bristol)

$69 — Pornographic Pay-Per-View  movies, including Come All Yee Faithful, and Who’s Your Holy Daddy?

$586 – 22 copies of the King James Bible, for every nightstand, TV stand, and bathroom in the house 

$4000 — Sarah Palin’s Dental Bridge, for side of mouth where she doesn’t even chew

$956 — Home Office Supplies for writing Palin’s Autobiography — A Journey From Juneau to Juno to Jew-No

——————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES:

MSNBC on Just Who is Sarah Palin? — at One Good Move.

Part 2 of BuzzFlash series on Republicans’ Class War.

Lisa Casey with Obama’s New Campaign Strategy.

Top 10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes, via Dan Kurtzman.

“AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, IT’S SIMPLY NOT TRUE – EVERYONE KNOWS THAT MOOSES HAVE ANTLERS, AND JEWS HAVE HORNS.”

Background story at Politico.