“I’M MUCH BETTER SUITED FOR THAT JOB. SINCE I’M A BIT SHY I’LL ONLY HAVE TO RECITE 39 WORDS EVERY FOUR YEARS, AND I THINK I CAN ‘FAITHFULLY EXECUTE’ THAT TASK — EVEN IF I ADD THE WORDS ‘YA KNOW’.”

“IT’S NOT THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THE FRAMERS, BUT THE INTENTIONS OF THE EDITORS OF THE TEXAS LAW REVIEW MANUAL ON STYLE. THAT’S WHY WE FEDERALIST SOCIETY CONSERVATIVES BOLDLY GO WHERE NO JUSTICE HAS GONE BEFORE.”

Norm Jenson has the story on the Chief Grammarian and the Oaf of Office.

“RAHM, IF WE CAN JUST GET ROBERTS TO ADMINISTER THE OATH A COUPLA’ MORE TIMES, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LAST LONG ENOUGH TO REPLACE SCALIA, THOMAS, ALITO … AND THE CHIEF JUSTICE HIMSELF.” 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Of Al Gore’s Presidency Denied, Eight Years of Illegitimacy, and the Triumph of Meritocracy over Corrupt Entitlement.

Inaugural Humor Parade, via Dan Kurtzman.

“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully make moot the laws of the United States, and will, to the best of my nerve, neglect and end the Constitution of the United States.”