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“UNDER MY HEALTH CARE PLAN, YOU WON’T NEED INSURANCE FROM YOUR EMPLOYER, OR EVEN A DOCTOR, SINCE JOE THE PLUMBER WILL MAKE HOUSE CALLS, AND FIX EVERYTHING FROM YOUR MANHOLE TO YOUR NIPPLE.”
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“UNDER MY HEALTH CARE PLAN, YOU WON’T NEED INSURANCE FROM YOUR EMPLOYER, OR EVEN A DOCTOR, SINCE JOE THE PLUMBER WILL MAKE HOUSE CALLS, AND FIX EVERYTHING FROM YOUR MANHOLE TO YOUR NIPPLE.”
“AY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FREAK McCAIN WAS TALKING ABOUT WITH THE ‘ACORNS IN THE AYERS,’ BUT ALLS I KNOWS IS McCAIN’S PLANS GOT BIGGER CRACKS THAN MY ASS.”
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Now here’s Real Change We Can Believe In, at All Hat No Cattle.
Sarah Palin and the Know Nothings, at BuzzFlash
Dan Kurtzman with McCain and Palin In Their Own Words: 25 Laughable Quotes.
Daily Show’s 10,000 McCainiacs, at One Good Move.
“WE MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO GIVE THESE POOR SHMUCKS ROLES AS EXTRAS … IN THE REMAKE OF FRANKENSTEIN.”
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BuzzFlash’s P.M. Carpenter on John McCain: both Faust and Frankenstein.
Rachel Maddow on Jay Leno, at One Good Move.
SNL Spoofs the Presidential Debate, via Dan Kurtzman
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10. I’d like to try a ‘Palin-Wink,’ but I’m afraid I just might fall asleep.
9. The way things are going, I feel like crawling into Bill Ayers’ “Underground.”
8. Glad I’m not running against Hillary, ’cause then I’d have to attack TV icon Marlo Thomas.
7. I just pray my adult diaper can hold all the shit I’m churning out.
6. If I see any of my old Navy girlfriends in the audience, remember to thank them for their “service.”
5. I hope Cindy remembered to TIVO those Matlock reruns.
4. Quote Teddy Roosevelt, but don’t mention he kicked my maverick ass out of the “Rough Riders.”
3. Offer Brokaw the job of announcing that I’ve been eaten by Sarah Palin’s wolves.
2. Pretend not to hear, if I’m asked how many dispossessed Americans I can put up in my 13 homes.
1. Find out if they’re still running “To Tell the Truth,” so I can find out if the real John McCain will stand up?
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BLOGWORTHIES:
BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin weighs in on the GOP Jostle for 2012. Do the hustle!
John Oliver of the Daily Show on The Stupid Votes, at One Good Move.
A new test for President, at All Hat No Cattle.
Dan Kurtzman with the That One Humor.
Juan Cole on McCain’s Unreal Debate.
“BRIAN, OUR POLLING SHOWS THAT McCAIN NOW TRAILS AGAINST ‘THAT ONE,’ ‘THIS ONE,’ AND EVEN ‘THAT GIRL’.”
“LOOKS LIKE THIS CAMPAIGN IS SQUIRTING RIGHT THROUGH MY LEGS.”
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BLOGWORTHIES:
BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on The Terrorists Among Us: McCain and Palin; and Madkane observes that McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act.
“Tracking” the Candidates, at All Hat No Cattle.
The Daily Show offers up Common Man-Off, at One Good Move.
1. Thanks to your party’s economic policies, Joe Sixpack can barely afford a three-pack, and hockey moms are serving spaghetti and hockey pucks.
2. Talk about “naive,” I looked up the word in the dictionary today, and saw a picture of John McCain saying Iraq’ll be a cakewalk, and the fundamentals of the economy are strong.
3. You say “I don’t understand” — well, I understand enough to know that you don’t dig out of the ditch you and George Bush put this country in — by driving down the same exact road.
4. Now I hope you don’t ask the American people for a bailout, just because you’re getting a bad return on selling your soul.
5. Ladies and gentlemen, at this point, nobody knows John McCain, John McCain doesn’t know John McCain … John McCain is no friend of yours.
“TODAY, GERALD FORD WAS EATEN BY WOLVES, AND I WAS BEATEN INTO SUBMISSION BY FOX NEWS AND THE McCAIN CAMPAIGN, WHO WANTED MSNBC TO RID CHRIS MATTHEWS AND OLBERMANN FROM THE ANCHOR CHAIRS.”
Story at Huffington Post.
1. WHAT WOULD BE THE TOP PRIORITY OF A McCAIN ADMINISTRATION: MORE WARS, OR MORE WARS ON THE MIDDLE CLASS?
2. FOR SOMEONE BORN DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION, YOU SURE DON’T SEEM TO HAVE LEARNED ANY LESSONS FROM THE GREAT DEPRESSION.
3. SENATOR, MY SENIOR DEMOCRATIC COLLEAGUES KNEW AND SERVED WITH JOHN McCAIN. JOHN McCAIN WAS A FRIEND OF THEIRS. SENATOR, YOU’RE NO LONGER JOHN McCAIN.
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BLOGWORTHIES:
The Bailout Vote and the Tyranny of Representative Democracy – P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Profiles in Porridge.
Lisa Casey with a unique perspective on the Congressional Bailout Plan.
The Daily Show’s World War I, at One Good Move.
Sarah Silverman Wants “JEW” To Vote!!
“VE BELIEVE ZAT SUCH A MOVE VOULD NOT ONLY BE NAIVE AND DANGEROUS, BUT VOULD ALSO VIOLATE ZE GENEVA CONVENTION’S BAN ON TORTURING FOREIGN NATIONALS.”
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