I’M A MODERN SAINT
HELPING THE POOR AND NEEDY
CASH, NO CREDIT, PLEASE

“HEY, IT’S ONE ‘TING TO BE CORRUPT, BUT WHEN YOU SCREW DA’ FANS, YOU SHOULD GET PUNCHED OUT BY DITKA.” 

“HE WAS INVOLVED IN A MAJOR CONSPIRACY TO IMMEDIATELY RENAME CHICAGO’S AIRPORT TO … O’HAIR!”

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Lisa Casey weighs in on the Blago-Hair.

“I’LL SETTLE FOR A PACK OF MARLBOROS, BUT I’M NOT GONNA GIVE IT AWAY FOR NOTHING.”

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Dan Kurtzman with the round-up of Rod Blagojevich Jokes.

“I WAS PREPARED TO TAKE FIVE SEPARATE PAYOFFS, AND THEN TURN AROUND AND JUST GIVE IT TO LATOYA, WHO I ALWAYS FELT SORRY FOR.”

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Apoliticus with his Top 8 Political Humor Sites – and thanks, Ryan, for including moi.

“NOW, YOU PUT A SENATE SEAT UP FOR AUCTION, TOGETHER WITH A PRIVATE JET, AND YOU CAN REALLY MAKE ENOUGH DOUGH TO KEEP ONE IN DESIGNER CLOTHES.”

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Lisa Casey on the bailout of Blago, and Norm Jenson has The Daily Show’s Jagoff.

“BUT WAIT, IF YOU ACT NOW, YOU ALSO GET WRIGLEY FIELD AND THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE FOR JUST TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS AND 99 CENTS.”

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BLAGOWORTHIES:

Chicago’s own Mark Karlin on bad-boy Blagojevich.

Forget Uncle Sam, Blackwater Wants You – at All Hat No Cattle.

The Colbert Report’s Season of Giving, at One Good Move.

Amy Poehler Returns as Hillary Clinton on SNL, via Dan Kurtzman.

“OK GOD, LET ME PUT UP ON THE SCREEN ONE OF THE KEY COMMANDMENTS YOU HANDED DOWN: ‘THOU SHALL NOT KILL.’ BUT HOW DO YOU SQUARE THAT WITH ¬†ALL THE HURRICANES, FLOODS AND OTHER NATURAL DISASTERS THAT YOU YOURSELF HAVE CREATED?”