9. Widespread perception that the problem “is not the heat, but the humidity.”

8. Energy demands soar by proliferation of water-skiing squirrels.

7. The battle of the next decade: Water Conservation vs. The Mercy Flush.

6. Chinese limit verification procedures to inspection of their Fortune Cookies.

5. Methane emissions spin out-of-control after publication of Thomas Friedman’s next book: The World is Flatulent.

4. Without major subsidies, Bigfoot refuses to reduce his carbon footprint.

3 . Excessive heat generated by Americans screaming over the phone at Indians in Bangalore call centers.

2. Cap and trade results in credit default swaps of polar bears.

1. Failure to place a  punitive tax on the ‘fossil fools’ who deny global warming.

Senators Inhofe and Coburn

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on The Obama Factor. Republican Presidents United Democrats: Democratic Presidents Divide Us.

Lisa Casey on the meltdown of Chuck Norris.

“SETH, I’M GOING TO PUT ALL THE GLOBAL WARMING DENIERS IN A LOCKBOX, FLY THEM UP TO THE ARCTIC, AND LEAVE THE BASTARDS ON AN ICE FLOE WITH A HUNGRY POLAR BEAR.”

10. CHANGE!  Given his age, Grandpa McCain wanted someone who has recent experience changing diapers.

 9. Send strong message to Russia they can’t take back Alaska. 

 8. A perfect match: Alaska Governor and Senator who now panders to “Men in Trees.” 

 7. Palin not vulnerable to harassment by Larry Craig in GOP Convention restrooms.

 6. Pronunciation of ”Pale-in” reinforces racial message the GOP is the “whiteface” party.

 5. “Hockey Mom” reinforces racial message the GOP is the “whiteface” party.

 4. New energy plan will include drilling and dog sled transportation.

 3. She knows how to spell “Baked Alaska” without an “e” at the end.

 2. McCain’s desperate attempt to associate himself  with Teddy Roosevelt’s Bull Moose Party.

 1. Forget female voters, McCain targets men with “hot librarian” fantasies.

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash: McCain-Palin: A Really Dumb Choice By Some (Usually) Really Smart People.

Bill Maher’s back, and Norm Jenson has the latest New Rules.

Oil, Business Groups Join Palin’s Crusade Against Polar Bears – at Perrspectives.