“WE ALL KNOW THAT BARACK OBAMA DIED BACK IN THE 60′s, ON ABBEY ROAD, AND WAS REPLACED BY THE RADICAL PEACENIK PAUL MCCARTNEY — WHO’S BEEN DISGUISED IN BLACKFACE EVER SINCE.”

“THE EVIDENCE IS PRETTY CLEAR, YA’ KNOW. THE OUTFIT STRAIGHT OUT OF ‘SGT. PEPPERS,’ THE GHOULISH ZOMBIES ON HIS ALBUM COVERS, AND THE FACT THAT THE COLOR CONTINUALLY DRAINED OUT OF HIS FACE OVER THE YEARS.”

[Editor's Note: If you read this post backwards, while drinking a Shirley Temple upside down, you'll develop a certain urge to play air guitar left-handed while barefoot and clad in a black suit.]