“I’M VERY PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE MY APPOINTMENT TO FILL BARACK OBAMA’S SENATE SEAT: PATRICK J. FITZGERALD.” 

“EVEN RICHARD NIXON IS TURNING OVER IN HIS GRAVE.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Blagojevich’s Delusional Senate Appointment.

Dubya’s New Year’s Resolution, at All Hat No Cattle.

“WE HAVE VIDEOTAPED PROOF THAT THE E*TRADE BABY WAS USING A FAKE VOICE, DIVERTING INVESTMENT FUNDS TO PARTY CLOWNS, AND BUNDLING SOILED DIAPERS AS COLLATERALIZED SECURITIES.”  

“IT WAS LIKE, SO EASY … THE SEC WAS CARRYING A BIGGER LOAD OF SHIT THAN I WAS.”

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And P.M. Carpenter asks if Patrick Fitzgerald is guilty of premature E*Blagolation, while Madkane asks Why Caroline Kennedy?

“HE WAS INVOLVED IN A MAJOR CONSPIRACY TO IMMEDIATELY RENAME CHICAGO’S AIRPORT TO … O’HAIR!”

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Lisa Casey weighs in on the Blago-Hair.

“I’LL SETTLE FOR A PACK OF MARLBOROS, BUT I’M NOT GONNA GIVE IT AWAY FOR NOTHING.”

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Dan Kurtzman with the round-up of Rod Blagojevich Jokes.

“NOW, YOU PUT A SENATE SEAT UP FOR AUCTION, TOGETHER WITH A PRIVATE JET, AND YOU CAN REALLY MAKE ENOUGH DOUGH TO KEEP ONE IN DESIGNER CLOTHES.”

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Lisa Casey on the bailout of Blago, and Norm Jenson has The Daily Show’s Jagoff.

“BUT WAIT, IF YOU ACT NOW, YOU ALSO GET WRIGLEY FIELD AND THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE FOR JUST TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS AND 99 CENTS.”

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BLAGOWORTHIES:

Chicago’s own Mark Karlin on bad-boy Blagojevich.

Forget Uncle Sam, Blackwater Wants You – at All Hat No Cattle.

The Colbert Report’s Season of Giving, at One Good Move.

Amy Poehler Returns as Hillary Clinton on SNL, via Dan Kurtzman.

“KEITH, THE VICE PRESIDENT’S LEGAL ADVISOR, DAVID ADDINGTON, IS RELYING ON THE PRECEDENT OF IN RE HOTEL CALIFORNIA: CHENEY MAY CHECK OUT ANYTIME HE WANTS, BUT HE’LL … NEVER LEAVE.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin asks: Will U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald Be Re-appointed, Promoted, or Let Go?

Dan Savage, on Colbert, addresses the Proposition 8 Protests – at One Good Move.

Lisa Casey with a “Welcome Eviction.”

Dan Kurtzman on Barack Obama, the Comedian.

“I’M UNIQUELY QUALIFIED TO MEDIATE THIS DISPUTE, AS WELL AS TO ACT AS THE POSTER BOY FOR ‘CHANGE’ IN AN OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.”

“HEY CHILD, DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!”