The Satirical Political Report » palin’s makeup

CBS’s New Hit Show: The Wasilla Hillbillies

Don Davis — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 00:06:02 +0000

Come and listen to a story about a woman named�Sarah
An�Alaskan pit bull, who�wore lipstick and�mascara,
Then one day she was field-dressin’�a moose,
And�along comes�McCain, holding�his own noose.

��

Seekin’ VP that is, Not�black or old, Sexist�plea.�

�

Well the first thing you know ol�Sarah’s a big riser,
Talkin’ trash, knockin’ community organ-izers
Said “Top of�the�ticket, is�the place I oughtta’ be”
So she�looted�Neiman�Marcus, for the whole familee.�

�

Designer clothes, that is. Valentino, Not Donna�Koran. �

Now its time to say goodbye, to�Sarah and�her kin.
She plans to do�some studyin’,�to�find those�Africans.
You’re all invited back, to�see�what she can do that’s dumber�
While she plots to run in�two-oh-�twelve with Mr. Joe the Plumber

For President,�that is.�Can’t spell, Takes her shoes off to count.

She’ll be back in four,�y’hear?.

“JED CLAMPETT, WELCOME SIR. IS IT TRUE THAT JETHRO’S FIXIN’ TO VOTE FOR THAT PALIN WOMAN IN 2012.”

“MR. MATTHEWS,�I GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK WITH THAT BOY.”

�

Never Mind Palin’s Fashion Budget, McCAIN’s the One With the Extreme Makeover!

Don Davis — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 18:32:11 +0000

“HOLD ON, SENATOR, JUST A LITTLE MORE OF CHRISTIAN�DIOR INTO YOUR HEAD.”

AL SHARPTON CLAIMS MICHAEL VICK WAS FRAMED BY WHITE PIT BULL

Don Davis — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 01:42:06 +0000

��

“YOU THINK IT’S JUST A COINCIDENCE��THAT HE USED��TO WORK AS AN L.A. POLICE DOG?”

“Don’t look at me; it was Mark Fur-man.”

The��context here.

IMUS GETS THE ‘SEINFELD TREATMENT’: MUST SERVE AS GWEN IFILL’S CLEANING LADY

Don Davis — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:20:06 +0000

Following his termination by MSNBC and CBS radio, things just keep getting worse for the “I-Man.” In the ultimate example of life imitating art — in this case, the infamous Seinfeld “butler episode” –��the FCC has sentenced Don Imus to serve a��one-year term��as Gwen Ifill’s “cleaning woman.”

Based on the Biblical principle of “an eye for an eye,” the FCC — comprised mostly of Regent University graduates –��concluded that this was the most apt punishment for a man who himself once characterized��Ms. Ifill, an African-American reporter, as a “cleaning lady.”

Consequently, as retribution for breaking his 2000 pledge to steer clear of racist remarks — made to��Clarence Page, another African-American reporter — Imus will literally be using Lemon Pledge.

Imus has also been ordered to mop up the sweat from the��gym floor during the��practices of the Rutgers women’s basketballers, as well as to tend to all of their��hair needs.��

Although��Al Sharpton asked Ms. Ifill if she would lend him��Imus,��she��adamantly refused, “because��he’s��my��cleaning lady.”�� Ms. Ifill reportedly also told Sharpton “to clean up his own messes.”

Asked how��Imus��did on his first day on the job, Ms. Ifill stated that the “the I-Man is a pretty good cleaner,��but he’s not too bright or articulate.”

—————————————————————————————

BLOGWORTHIES:

Dave Zirin at BuzzFlash: Why Don Imus Is Now a Man Without a Job.

Lisa Casey on the missing emails.

Impeach – Time is Running Out, at PDB.

Webb Blasts McCain, at Crooks & Liars.