Palin's Makeup | The Satirical Political Report

CBS’s New Hit Show: The Wasilla Hillbillies

By Don Davis

Come and listen to a story about a woman named Sarah
An Alaskan pit bull, who wore lipstick and mascara,
Then one day she was field-dressin’ a moose,
And along comes McCain, holding his own noose.

Seekin’ VP that is, Not black or old, Sexist plea.

Well the first thing you know ol Sarah’s a big riser,
Talkin’ trash, knockin’ community organ-izers
Said “Top of the ticket, is the place I oughtta’ be”
So she looted Neiman Marcus, for the whole familee.

Designer clothes, that is. Valentino, Not Donna Koran.

Now its time to say goodbye, to Sarah and her kin.
She plans to do some studyin’, to find those Africans.
You’re all invited back, to see what she can do that’s dumber
While she plots to run in two-oh- twelve with Mr. Joe the Plumber

For President, that is. Can’t spell, Takes her shoes off to count.

She’ll be back in four, y’hear?.

“JED CLAMPETT, WELCOME SIR. IS IT TRUE THAT JETHRO’S FIXIN’ TO VOTE FOR THAT PALIN WOMAN IN 2012.”

“MR. MATTHEWS, I GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK WITH THAT BOY.”

Posted in 2008 election, GOP, africa, alaska, joe the plumber, john mcain, neiman marcus palin, palin africa continent, palin gaffes, palin lipstick, palin pit bull, palin valentino, palin's clothes, palin's makeup, political satire, republicans, sarah palin, wasilla hillbillies | No Comments

AL SHARPTON CLAIMS MICHAEL VICK WAS FRAMED BY WHITE PIT BULL

By Don Davis

¬†

“YOU THINK IT’S JUST A COINCIDENCE¬†THAT HE USED¬†TO WORK AS AN L.A. POLICE DOG?”

“Don’t look at me; it was Mark Fur-man.”

The¬†context here.

Posted in General, brooke hundley, colbert cheating death, jordan, marni phillips, palin's makeup, virginia fox terrorism, virginia foxx, virginia foxx health care, virginia foxx terrorists | No Comments

IMUS GETS THE ‘SEINFELD TREATMENT’: MUST SERVE AS GWEN IFILL’S CLEANING LADY

By Don Davis

Following his termination by MSNBC and CBS radio, things just keep getting worse for the “I-Man.” In the ultimate example of life imitating art — in this case, the infamous Seinfeld “butler episode” –¬†the FCC has sentenced Don Imus to serve a¬†one-year term¬†as Gwen Ifill’s “cleaning woman.”

Based on the Biblical principle of “an eye for an eye,” the FCC — comprised mostly of Regent University graduates –¬†concluded that this was the most apt punishment for a man who himself once characterized¬†Ms. Ifill, an African-American reporter, as a “cleaning lady.”

Consequently, as retribution for breaking his 2000 pledge to steer clear of racist remarks — made to¬†Clarence Page, another African-American reporter — Imus will literally be using Lemon Pledge.

Imus has also been ordered to mop up the sweat from the¬†gym floor during the¬†practices of the Rutgers women’s basketballers, as well as to tend to all of their¬†hair needs.¬†

Although¬†Al Sharpton asked Ms. Ifill if she would lend him¬†Imus,¬†she¬†adamantly refused, “because¬†he’s¬†my¬†cleaning lady.”¬† Ms. Ifill reportedly also told Sharpton “to clean up his own messes.”

Asked how¬†Imus¬†did on his first day on the job, Ms. Ifill stated that the “the I-Man is a pretty good cleaner,¬†but he’s not too bright or articulate.”

—————————————————————————————

BLOGWORTHIES:

Dave Zirin at BuzzFlash: Why Don Imus Is Now a Man Without a Job.

Lisa Casey on the missing emails.

Impeach – Time is Running Out, at PDB.

Webb Blasts McCain, at Crooks & Liars.