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October 22nd, 2008

Sarah Palin Answers a Third Grader’s Question: What Does a Wardrobe Monitor Do?

 

“WELL, THAT’S  EASY. AS I TOLD MY DAUGHTER BRISTOL, THE JOB OF THE WARDROBE MONITOR IS TO COLLECT ALL THE MONEY FOR MILK AND COOKIES, AND THEN RUN TO SAKS FIFTH AVENUE TO BUY YOURSELF A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE.”

September 10th, 2008

Secret Document Details Palin’s Per Diem Home Expenses

$149 — 43 boxes of Mooseburger Helper

$289 – Christian Dior ’Pit Bull’ Lipstick 

$666 – eBay bid for a James Dobson autographed copy of How to Convert a Gay Jew.

$213 — Cans of Lighter Fluid, for book-burnings in backyard

$487 — Hockey sticks for clubbing baby seals

$17.99 — A copy of Karl Rove’s Vindictive Firing of Government Employees for Dummies  

$37 — Olive oil for salads (No Extra Virgin for daughter Bristol)

$69 — Pornographic Pay-Per-View  movies, including Come All Yee Faithful, and Who’s Your Holy Daddy?

$586 – 22 copies of the King James Bible, for every nightstand, TV stand, and bathroom in the house 

$4000 — Sarah Palin’s Dental Bridge, for side of mouth where she doesn’t even chew

$956 — Home Office Supplies for writing Palin’s Autobiography — A Journey From Juneau to Juno to Jew-No

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BLOGWORTHIES:

MSNBC on Just Who is Sarah Palin? — at One Good Move.

Part 2 of BuzzFlash series on Republicans’ Class War.

Lisa Casey with Obama’s New Campaign Strategy.

Top 10 Dumbest Sarah Palin Quotes, via Dan Kurtzman.

September 2nd, 2008

Palin: I’d Oppose Abortion Even if My Daughter’s Raped By a Moose

“I WOULD ALSO TAKE THE SAME POSITION WITH A SQUIRREL, BUT IF IT WERE RUSSIAN SPIES, THAT’S WHERE I’D HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE.”

September 2nd, 2008

Reagan Redux?: Palin Proposes ‘Sperm Wars’ Shield Against Teen Pregnancy

“WHO NEEDS SEX-EDUCATION, WHEN WE CAN SPEND BILLIONS FOR AN ADVANCED LASER SYSTEM TO INTERCEPT THE SPERM IN MID-VAGINA.” 

September 1st, 2008

Another Shocker: Palin Tried to Cover Up Her Dog’s Litter

“THE RULES WOULDN’T ALLOW ‘HUSKY’ TO RACE RIGHT AFTER A PREGNANCY, SO I BREASTFED THE LITTLE PUPS MYSELF.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Skeletons in the Palin Family Closet!

Juan Cole on Palin Laughs at Cancer-Surviving Senator being called a “Cancer”; and a colleague’s verdict that Palin’s ‘Not Qualified to be Governor.’

September 1st, 2008

Evangelicals Applaud Palin Family’s Ability To ‘Be Fruitful and Multiply’

“HOW DO YA’ THINK I GOT ELECTED IN THE FIRST PLACE … I’M ACTUALLY RELATED TO HALF THE STATE OF ALASKA.”

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