“AND SO, IN 2012, BLAH, BLAH BLAH ….”

            “BURN HER , SHE’S A WITCH!”

Based on the Biblical principle of “an eye for an eye,” the FCC — comprised mostly of Regent University graduates –¬†concluded that this was the most apt punishment for a man who himself once characterized¬†Ms. Ifill, an African-American reporter, as a “cleaning lady.”

Consequently, as retribution for breaking his 2000 pledge to steer clear of racist remarks — made to¬†Clarence Page, another African-American reporter — Imus will literally be using Lemon Pledge.

Imus has also been ordered to mop up the sweat from the¬†gym floor during the¬†practices of the Rutgers women’s basketballers, as well as to tend to all of their¬†hair needs.¬†

Although¬†Al Sharpton asked Ms. Ifill if she would lend him¬†Imus,¬†she¬†adamantly refused, “because¬†he’s¬†my¬†cleaning lady.”¬† Ms. Ifill reportedly also told Sharpton “to clean up his own messes.”

Asked how¬†Imus¬†did on his first day on the job, Ms. Ifill stated that the “the I-Man is a pretty good cleaner,¬†but he’s not too bright or articulate.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Dave Zirin at BuzzFlash: Why Don Imus Is Now a Man Without a Job.

Lisa Casey on the missing emails.

Impeach – Time is Running Out, at PDB.

Webb Blasts McCain, at Crooks & Liars.