The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
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November 8th, 2008

CBS’s New Hit Show: The Wasilla Hillbillies

Come and listen to a story about a woman named Sarah
An Alaskan pit bull, who wore lipstick and mascara,
Then one day she was field-dressin’ a moose,
And along comes McCain, holding his own noose.
  
Seekin’ VP that is, Not black or old, Sexist plea. 
 
Well the first thing you know ol Sarah’s a big riser,
Talkin’ trash, knockin’ community organ-izers
Said “Top of the ticket, is the place I oughtta’ be”
So she looted Neiman Marcus, for the whole familee
 
Designer clothes, that is. Valentino, Not Donna Koran.  

Now its time to say goodbye, to Sarah and her kin.
She plans to do some studyin’, to find those Africans.
You’re all invited back, to see what she can do that’s dumber 
While she plots to run in two-oh- twelve with Mr. Joe the Plumber

For President, that is. Can’t spell, Takes her shoes off to count.

She’ll be back in four, y’hear?.

“JED CLAMPETT, WELCOME SIR. IS IT TRUE THAT JETHRO’S FIXIN’ TO VOTE FOR THAT PALIN WOMAN IN 2012.”

“MR. MATTHEWS, I GOTTA HAVE A LONG TALK WITH THAT BOY.”

 

November 8th, 2008

Palin Redeemed! Euphoria Over Obama Leads Africa to Unite as One Nation

“I TOLD YOU I CAN SEE THE FUTURE FROM MY WINDOW.”

November 6th, 2008

Latest Palin Bombshell: Thought ‘Africa’ Was Just a Toto Song

“Its gonna take a lot to drag me away from here
There’s nothing that a hundred Senators could ever do
I bless my reign down in NAFTRA- CA
Gonna take some time to screw everything up again

The real song — Toto’s Africa .

November 6th, 2008

Sarah Palin Takes a Call From the ‘President of Africa’

“YES, MR. MANUTE BOL, IT’S AN HONOR TO SPEAK WITH THE PRESIDENT OF AFRICA.  NOW, I’M NOT A LAWYER, BUT IF YOU WAN’T SOMEONE TO ‘SUE DAN,’ I’M SURE I CAN REFER YOU TO TED STEVENS’ ATTORNEY.”

Story at HuffPost.

November 6th, 2008

Report: Palin Didn’t Know Africa a Continent, or McCain Incontinent!

“I ONLY FOUND OUT ABOUT McCAIN’S INCONTINENCE LATE IN THE CAMPAIGN, WHEN HIS STAFF STARTED LEAKING ABOUT MY SHORTCOMINGS, AND PISSING ALL OVER ME.”

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