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The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



July 30th, 2009

Joe Biden’s Gaffe Almost Ruins the ‘Beer Summit’

Beer Summit

“GENTLEMAN, SINCE THIS MEETING SEEMS TO BE GOING SO WELL, WHY DON’T WE BUILD ON THIS BY BRINGING YOU GUYS BACK, ALONG WITH O.J SIMPSON AND MARK FUHRMAN.”

July 24th, 2009

Shocking New Video Captures Police Chase of Prof. Gates Through His Bedroom

Police Commissioner Robert Haas speaks to reporters at Cambridge Police headquarters Thursday about the actions of Cambridge Sgt. James Crowley, who was criticized by President Barack Obama after arresting black scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. in his Massachusetts home. Also pictured is Cambridge Sgt. James DeFrancesco. (AP Photo)

 

“I GOTTA’ HAND IT TO THE PROFESSOR, THE OLD GUY CAN REALLY HANDLE A ’94 FORD BRONCO AROUND TIGHT HOSPITAL CORNERS.”

December 6th, 2008

O.J. Simpson to Serve Time in All-NFL Prison

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“MR. SIMPSON, THAT PARTICULAR FACILITY IS ALREADY BURSTING AT THE SEAMS,  BUT IT’S THE JUDGMENT OF THIS COURT THAT YOU WILL BE THE ULTIMATE ‘ROLE MODEL’ FOR THAT CROWD.”

October 4th, 2008

Government Rescue Plan Includes Bailout of O.J. Simpson

“READ LITERALLY, THE BILL APPLIES TO ALL FORMS OF ROBBERY.”