The Satirical Political Report

"The Best Political REAM
on the Internet."



January 24th, 2009

GOP Peddles ‘TV Land Fantasy’ About Guantanamo Closing

“SORRY, OTIS, YOU’RE GONNA’ HAVE TO SLEEP THIS ONE OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE TONIGHT — WE GOTTA’ MAKE ROOM FOR KHALID SHAIKH MOHAMMED.”

————————————————————————————————————-

“Gee, Pa, can I make a movie about this when I grow up?”

——————————————————————————————————

Lisa Casey on Osama’s reaction.

Norm Jenson with Robert Redford on Maddow, in Acres of Land Saved.

September 3rd, 2008

McCain To Enter ‘Stage Right’ at GOP Convention

“I’M GOING TO BE BROUGHT OUT IN SHACKLES, IN A HANOI HILTON STYLE CELL, WHERE l’LL SINGLE-HANDEDLY OVERCOME MY NORTH VIETNAMESE GUARDS, THEN STOP AN ABORTION IN PROGRESS, AND FINISH UP BY DRILLING FOR OIL RIGHT THROUGH THE CONVENTION STAGE.”

August 22nd, 2008

Steve Martin’s ‘Tribute’ to McCain: King Glut

King Glut (King Glut)
Now when he was a young man,
He never thought he’d see
A black man blocking him, from the Presi-den-cy

(King Glut) How’d you get your money?
(Lucky Glut) Was it your blond honey?
Lives in Arizona,
Lost his maverick persona (King Glut).

Drillin’ in your backyard (Oil Glut)
Playin’ the race card (Right-wing Glut)
Even Bush thinks he’s a retard (Iraqi Glut)

Now, when I’m rich,
Now don’t think I’m a nut,
Just want some fancy houses,
Like those owned by King Glut (King Glut)

He really is a Dummy,
Older than a mummy,
Lives in Arizona, lost his maverick persona,
Can’t use a cell phone-a, his TWELVE  Condos are a boner,
King Glut!
——————————————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES:

Madkane: McCain Thought They Were Asking How Many Combs He Owns.

Democracy as Daycare , by P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.

Sen. Bernie Sanders on Income Inequality, at One Good Move.

Dan Kurtzman with Top 10 Dumbest John McCain Quotes.

Lisa Casey on McCain’s pick for running mate.

August 8th, 2008

Obama ‘Airs’ His Criticism of John Edwards

“NOW, IF JOHN HAD JUST PROPERLY INFLATED HIS SEX DOLL, HE COULD’VE COMPLETELY AVOIDED UNNECESSARY ‘DRILLING’.”

August 8th, 2008

John Edwards Endorses Drilling for Rielle

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/12_03/edwardshunter_468x348.jpg

“TO BE HONEST, I FIGURED THAT IF I STARTED DRILLING IN 2006, THE RESULTS WOULDN’T BE KNOWN UNTIL 10 YEARS LATER, AFTER MY SECOND TERM AS PRESIDENT.”

——————————————————————————

BLOGWORTHIES:

American Conservative Wants Us to Believe WMD Forgery was Work of Pentagon, not CIA – at BuzzFlash.

To Drill or Not to Drill, on The Daily Show, via One Good Move.

Lisa Casey addresses the War Criminal Question.

August 8th, 2008

Bill Clinton Redirects His Jealousy, to John Edwards

“IN ONE SENSE, YOU’RE NEVER REALLY PREPARED TO HANDLE EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS. EVEN AFTER MY WHOLE FIRST TERM AS PRESIDENT, I STILL SCREWED IT UP.”

August 7th, 2008

Life Imitates Art: The Candidates Go to the Movies

“OBAMA GETS SMART AND TRIES TO CAPTURE THE SWING VOTE, BY TAKING A JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH.

“MEANWHILE, McCAIN, AS OLD AS THE MUMMY AND BEHAVING LIKE THE JOKER IN THE DARK KNIGHT,  CONFIRMS THAT HE’S STEP BROTHERS WITH THE SPACE CHIMPS KNOWN AS THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.”

—————————————————————————————————-

BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on The Secret Diaries of Dick Cheney.

Lisa Casey compares the Obama and McCain Energy Plans.

The Daily Show’s The News Better Run, at One Good Move.

August 5th, 2008

McCain, Confused, Tells Biker Crowd to ‘Drill’ His Wife

Presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain addresses a sea of motorcycle enthusiasts at the annual Sturgis Rally in South Dakota 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“NOW I’M OFFERING YOU A HOT RICH BEER HEIRESS, WHILE SENATOR OBAMA WOULD TELL YOU TO JUST INFLATE YOUR WIFE’S BREASTS WITH A LITTLE AIR.”

Viagra | Levitra | Cialis | Viagra Online | Tramadol | viagra online