The Satirical Political Report

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February 12th, 2009

Obama’s Revenge: Vows Not to Count Judd Gregg in 2010 Census

“I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THESE GOP BACK-STABBING WEASELS — NOW IT’S TIME FOR ME TO MAKE THEM LITERALLY DISAPPEAR.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

P.M. Carpenter nails the math with Gregg + Bipartisanship = Zero.

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin interviews Greg Mitchell on the Obama Victory, and the Vital Role Played by the New Media.

Happy Birthday Charles Darwin, via Norm Jenson.

February 12th, 2009

Having Lost on Stimulus, GOP Now Targets Infrastructure of The New Deal

“FORGET THE SWITCH FROM ANALOG TV, WE WANNA’ GET RID OF THE TVA.”

                           “WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR BUT GOP IDIOTS.” 

[Yes, Virginia, there still is a Tennessee Valley Authority.]

December 30th, 2008

Why This New Year’s is Like No Other

“FORGET THE OLD MAN GIVING WAY TO THE BABY, THIS YEAR IT’S THE MAN-CHILD GIVING WAY TO THE MAN.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey on the Backwards Christian Soldier.

And speaking of Bush-Damage, Where Was George H. W. Bush on November 22, 1963 – at BuzzFlash.

Obama: “I Agree” With Senate Dems On Not Seating Burris - at TPM Election Central.

December 28th, 2008

Your Top ‘Out of Your Head-lines’ of 2008

Citing ‘Change’ Over ‘Experience,’ Angry Electorate Votes to Replace God

‘3 A.M. Phone Call Ad’ Wins Hillary the Presidency, of OnStar

Baseball Decrees the Steroid Age the ‘Shrunken Ball Era’

The Legend of Fred Thompson: A Politician Turned Actor Who Couldn’t Play a Candidate on TV

Evangelicals Claim Prop 8 Protects the Sanctity of Marriages Performed by Elvises in Vegas Chapels

Accused in Hate Crime Plea Bargains Down to ‘Spite’

Famed Photog Annie Leibovitz Uses Negatives to Capture McCain’s Campaign

Iraq Celebrates 5th Anniversary by Re-Gifting Democracy

Rudy Giuliani Reveals His Feet Are Two Different Sizes: a ‘9′ and an ‘11′

Co-Founder of Slinky Dies, After Falling Down Steps

Pollsters Admit Flaws in Methodology: ‘Exit Polls’ Conducted at Entrances

Sarah Palin Touts Her Experience as a ‘Closet Organizer’

Satirists Riot Over The New Yorker Obama Cartoon

Americans Strongly Believe in God, But One That Only Controls the Outcome of Sporting Events

Due to Snowstorm, Premature Ejaculation Clinic Operating on a 5 Minute Delay

Huckabee Declares He’s Ready to be President From ‘Day Six,’ Literally

Spitzer Scandal Spurs Call for Reform: Public Financing of Hookers

Christian Right Condemns Gay Adoption of Highways

FOX News Blames Obama for Nigerian Spam

Time-Life Issues the Definitive Collection of ‘Bush Scandals’

Sarah Palin Establishes a New ‘Crack in the WOODEN FLOOR’

Stood Up by ‘Joe the Plumber,’ McCain Campaigns with ‘Janitor in a Drum’

Iraqi Shoe Thrower Receives a ‘Seinfeld Sentence’ — Has to Serve as Bush’s Butler (and Shoeshine man)

A Sign of the Times: E*Trade Baby Leaps to Death From His Crib

McCain Claims ‘Multiple House Story’ Helps Him With Mormons

Sarah Palin Takes Phone Call from Napoleon Bonaparte

U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street

Lesson Learned: Auto Executives Make Return Trip to D.C. in Flintstones Car

An Ominous Sign for the GOP: Even Mars Turns Blue

Bush’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ Finally Realized: Iraq in Better Shape Than U.S.

Sarah Palin’s Greatest ‘Gift’ to America: Ruining Thanksgiving

Treasury Gives Bailout to Sperm Banks, to Inject Liquidity Into Frozen Markets

Blagojevich, Preparing for the Worst, Plans to Sell His Own ‘Seat’ in Jail

Conspiracy Theory of ‘Second Shoe Thrower’ Raised by Abdul-liver Stone

Bernie Madoff’s Fraud Reaches Beyond Jewish Community: Ran Pyramid Scheme in Egypt

House of Tudor Lays Claim to Vacant NY Senate Seat

Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency

GOP Realizes Its Worst Nightmare: Black Man Elected to Lead U.S. Out of The Dark Ages

November 14th, 2008

Obama Urged to Pick the ORIGINAL ‘Team of Rivals’

“LET’S FACE IT, THESE GENTLEMEN HELPED END A CIVIL WAR, WHILE IF OBAMA PICKS TOO MANY CLINTONITES, IT MIGHT JUST RE-IGNITE THE ONE WE HAD IN THE 90’s.”

November 13th, 2008

A Grateful Lieberman Returns the Favor to Obama

“I TOLD THE PRESIDENT-ELECT TO FORGET ABOUT THE ECONOMY, ENERGY AND HEALTH CARE. THE FIRST PRIORITY OF HIS NEW ADMINISTRATION SHOULD BE SUPPORTING MARRIAGE FOR GAYS IN THE MILITARY.”

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Wouldn’t Lieberman be the perfect spokesman for the “bailout?” More on that fiasco from Lisa Casey and Rick Horowitz at HuffPost.

November 13th, 2008

Open Mike on Jay Leno Reveals McCain’s True Feelings

 

“JAY, INSTEAD OF SARAH PALIN, I WOULDA’ BEEN BETTER OFF PICKING ONE OF THOSE DUMB BASTARDS ON ‘JAYWALK’.” 

November 8th, 2008

Palin Redeemed! Euphoria Over Obama Leads Africa to Unite as One Nation

“I TOLD YOU I CAN SEE THE FUTURE FROM MY WINDOW.”

November 8th, 2008

Exclusive Transcript of the Obama-Nancy Reagan Phone Call

“MR. PRESIDENT-ELECT, I JUST SPOKE TO RONNIE, DWIGHT EISENHOWER AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN, AND THEY ALL SAID THE SAME THING: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT BRINGING ANY OF THESE CRAZY ASS, KNOW-NOTHING REPUBLICANS INTO YOUR ADMINISTRATION!”

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Staying on topic, P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash on Palin’s Legacy: The Agony of Ignorance.

Lisa Casey has the perfect vacation spot for retiring Republicans.

Rachel Maddow on the Colbert Report, at One Good Move.

November 7th, 2008

Another ‘Red State’ Comes in Late for Obama: Mars!

 

WE ALWAYS WANTED TO VOTE DEMOCRATIC — WE JUST COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET TO EARTH UNTIL WOLF BLITZER HELPED US OUT.”

CNN's Jessica Yellin appears live as a hologram before anchor Wolf Blitzer Tuesday night in New York.

CNN’s Jessica Yellin appears live as a hologram before anchor Wolf Blitzer Tuesday night in New York. 

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