“WHILE SENATOR OBAMA’S INFOMERCIAL REVEALS THAT HE READS HARRY POTTER, MY RUNNING MATE IS ACTUALLY FROM THE HOGWASH SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT.”

“IF YOU CAST YOUR VOTE FOR McCAIN-PALIN, THEY’LL SLICE AND DICE THIS COUNTRY UP SO MUCH, IT’LL LOOK LIKE IT’S BEEN THROUGH THE VEG-O-MATIC.  BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT ALL.  IF YOU VOTE FOR THE GOP TICKET, I’LL GIVE YOU A LIFETIME GUARANTEE THAT YOU’LL BE LIVING ON SHOESTRING POTATOES AND A SHOESTRING BUDGET.”

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Staying on topic, Lisa Casey with a new definition of insanity.

EXCELLENT, GARTH. OUR NEXT GUEST IS SPHINCTER-BOY McCAIN, WHO’S RUNNING A CAMPAIGN LIKE LAME-RAHAM SINKIN.”

“HEY WAYNE, I HOPE HE BRINGS SARAH PALIN SO SHE CAN GET OUR SCHWING VOTE.”

But maybe it’s just a matter of marketing; perhaps atheists would be better received if they called themselves The Church of Latter Day Ain’ts.

And how about the “Agnostics.” I guess they’re kind of like political Independents, remaining non-committal, and switching their allegiances, depending on whether they feel the need to pray when the “shit hits the fan.” In fact, I suspect this accurately describes many more people than would care to admit it:

Many Blue Staters

Are Not really Atheists

Just Agnostically inclined

They just can’t accept

God on faith

They’d like a letter notarized and signed

They’ve also got their own agenda

Including changing the money supply

They want each Dollar Bill to say:

“In God We Trust, But Verify”

[Reprinted from One State Two State Red State Blue State]