“CLEARLY, THE PRESIDENT WAS ‘RIGHT-ON’ IN TELLING THOSE PEACENIKS THAT WE HAVE THE UNILATERAL RIGHT TO BOMB OUR ENEMIES BACK TO THE STONE AGE WHENEVER WE FEEL LIKE IT; AFTER ALL, IT’S JUST KILLING, JUST DEATH AND JUST WAR.”

9. PLAYERS WOULD BE LEFT SCRAMBLING FOR PAINKILLERS PILFERED BY LIMBAUGH

8. RAMS’ ‘THROWBACK’ UNIFORMS WOULD BE WHITE HOODS

7. DEFENSIVE PLAYERS WOULD BLITZ  OWNERS’ BOX INSTEAD OF OPPOSING QUARTERBACK

6. RUSH WOULD ACCUSE INJURED PLAYERS OF ‘PULLING A MICHAEL FOX’

5. ICONIC RAMS’ HORN ON HELMET REPLACED BY ‘DITTOS’

4. AL FRANKEN PUBLISHES NEW BOOK: RUSH LIMBAUGH IS SENDING IN BIG FAT IDIOTIC PLAYS

3. PRE-GAME TAILGATING REPLACED BY TEABAGGING PARTIES

2.  FOR PRO BOWL SELECTIONS, RUSH ORDERS TEAM TO VOTE FOR HILARY CLINTON 

1. TO BOLSTER RUNNING GAME, LIMBAUGH URGES OFFENSIVE LINEMAN TO ‘BLOCK FOR THE MAGIC NEGRO’

And for changes to Rush’s radio program, Limbaugh crows that he’s finally achieved his life goal: To become a ‘MINORITY OWNER’

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on Antonin Scalia and Glenn Beck: Just Two Degrees of Radical Separation.

Lisa Casey profiles the typical Limbaugh caller.

Jon Perr on some Nobel nominations for conservatives.

Dan Kurtzman with the complete round-up of Obama Nobel Jokes.

“IT WOULD TAKE THREE THINGS ACTUALLY. INVADING IRAN, BOMBING THE HOUSES JIMMY CARTER BUILT FOR HABITAT FOR HUMANITY, AND KNOCKING OVER MOTHER THERESA’S GRAVESTONE.”

Mr. Hard-ass on Hardball, at HuffPost.

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Lisa Casey on the Cheneys and a different Nobel prize.

Andrew Lehman at BuzzFlash on the Generation Abyss.

Madkane’s Ode To Party-First Republicans.