“I’M MUCH BETTER SUITED FOR THAT JOB. SINCE I’M A BIT SHY I’LL ONLY HAVE TO RECITE 39 WORDS EVERY FOUR YEARS, AND I THINK I CAN ‘FAITHFULLY EXECUTE’ THAT TASK — EVEN IF I ADD THE WORDS ‘YA KNOW’.”

“RAHM, IF WE CAN JUST GET ROBERTS TO ADMINISTER THE OATH A COUPLA’ MORE TIMES, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO LAST LONG ENOUGH TO REPLACE SCALIA, THOMAS, ALITO … AND THE CHIEF JUSTICE HIMSELF.” 

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BLOGWORTHIES:

BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin: Of Al Gore’s Presidency Denied, Eight Years of Illegitimacy, and the Triumph of Meritocracy over Corrupt Entitlement.

Inaugural Humor Parade, via Dan Kurtzman.

“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully make moot the laws of the United States, and will, to the best of my nerve, neglect and end the Constitution of the United States.”

“WE ONLY ALLOW REAL COWBOYS TO RIDE INTO US, NOT SWAGGERING IDIOTS WHO START UNNECESSARY WARS.”

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BLOGWORTHIES:

Lisa Casey on the further limitations of the fake cowboy.

The Daily Show’s Changefest ’09  – at One Good Move.

Juan Cole on Obama’s Pledge to Withdraw from Iraq and the Iraqi Reality.

“I FIGURED IF I MADE OBAMA SCREW-UP, WE COULD STOP THE OATH BEFORE HE SAID ALL THE WORDS THAT COUNT.”

[Chad at BuzzFlash with the story and video, while Norm Jenson has the full Constitutional implications.]

Check out Dan Kurtzman on Surviving the Obama Comedy Crisis. (For my money, I’d keep my eye on the comedy team of John Boehner and Mitch McConnell.)

“NOW, WE’VE HAD WORD THAT THERE’S BEEN SOME BAD GRANOLA BARS CIRCULATING IN THE CROWD. SO IF IT GETS PASSED TO YOU, YES, YOU SHOULD THROW IT IN THE CAN.”

“MISSION ACCOMPLISHED — MAJOR DINGBAT OPERATIONS IN THE UNITED STATES HAVE ENDED.”

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More on the BUSH Dregacy:

Putting his Stamp on Wall Street, at All Hat No Cattle; and Keeping us “Safe, 24/6,”‘ at One Good Move.

“I DON’T REALLY CARE WHO HE IS — HE WAS TALKING TOO LOUD ON THE CELL PHONE, REPEATING OLD STORIES ABOUT HIS NINETY-YEAR OLD MOTHER GOING TO CONFESSION, AND WORST OF ALL, WHISTLING AT EVERY STOP.”

“EXACTLY 24 MINUTES AFTER I’M SWORN IN, I’M GONNA’ HAVE JACK BAUER SWOOP IN, ARREST BUSH AND CHENEY RIGHT ON THE PODIUM, AND HAVE THEM RENDITIONED FOR SOME ENHANCED INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES. NOW, UNNERSTAN’, I NORMALLY DON’T BELIEVE IN SHIPPING JOBS OVERSEAS, BUT WE SIMPLY HAVE TO PUT SOME THINGS BEHIND US AND MOVE ON.”  

BLOGWORTHIES:

Apoliticus runs down the Top 5 Inauguration Incidents.

More on the “Bush Legacy,” at All Hat No Cattle and P.M. Carpenter at BuzzFlash.