“WHILE CAPS ON VEAL PARMIGIANA AND RISOTTO REMAIN TO BE NEGOTIATED, AT LEAST WE’VE ANSWERED THE SKEPTICS WHO REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MEATBALLS ARE CAUSED BY HUMAN ACTIVITY.”

10. Biggest threat to Amazon Rainforests: Printouts of Email strings.

9. Widespread perception that the problem “is not the heat, but the humidity.”

8. Energy demands soar by proliferation of water-skiing squirrels.

7. The battle of the next decade: Water Conservation vs. The Mercy Flush.

6. Chinese limit verification procedures to inspection of their Fortune Cookies.

5. Methane emissions spin out-of-control after publication of Thomas Friedman’s next book: The World is Flatulent.

4. Without major subsidies, Bigfoot refuses to reduce his carbon footprint.

3 . Excessive heat generated by Americans screaming over the phone at Indians in Bangalore call centers.

2. Cap and trade results in credit default swaps of polar bears.

1. Failure to place a  punitive tax on the ‘fossil fools’ who deny global warming.

Senators Inhofe and Coburn

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on The Obama Factor. Republican Presidents United Democrats: Democratic Presidents Divide Us.

Lisa Casey on the meltdown of Chuck Norris.

“DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES, WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT THE BURNING OF THAT FOSSIL FOOL TOM COBURN, INSTEAD OF OUR PRECIOUS FORESTS, IS REALLY THE KEY TO REVERSING GLOBAL WARMING AND SAVING THE PLANET.”