“WE NOT ONLY LOCKED OUT THIS SONUVABITCH TOOL OF THE OWNERS, BUT KICKED HIM IN THE ASS … FOR THREATENING TO RUIN THE ENTIRE SEASON.”

“I HATE TO SEE THESE GUYS DECERTIFY THEIR UNION  — SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CALL A ‘REVERSE’ IN ORDER TO CONTINUE DELIVERING ILLEGAL HITS.”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell

“SINCE THE JETS COACH DOESN’T CARRY ‘TRIPPING INSURANCE,’ HE HAS TO SERVE AS BOTH THE BUTLER … AND THE PERSONAL TRAINER FOR THE PLAYER HE TRIPPED.”

“IN OUR CASE, WE DON’T EVEN NEED A TIE. EVEN WHEN WE GET OUR BUTTS KICKED, THE GAME GOES ON AND ON AND ON ….”

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Lisa Casey on the GOP giving Jesus a new cross to bear.

Dan Kurtzman with The 10 Best Jokes About Health Care Reform.

“JESUS H. CHRIST, MADOFF WAS ABOUT TO BRING DOWN THE VERY LAST INSTITUTION THAT THIS COUNTRY HAD ANY FAITH IN.”