“NEXT TIME A FARE ASKS US TO TAKE THEM TO ‘GROUND ZERO,’ WE’RE GONNA’ TURN ON THE METER AND TAKE A SLIGHT  DETOUR … TO DEARBORN, MICHIGAN.”

Lisa Casey on the FOX detour from reality.

Dan Kurtzman’s Political Cartoons of the Week.

“WE’RE FIGHTING FOR THEM OVER THERE … SO THEY DON’T COME AND LIVE OVER HERE.”

“WE’LL BE MOVING THE MOSQUE ALRIGHT … TO THE THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, AND INSTEAD OF IMAM FEISAL ABDUL RAUF, WE’LL BE LEASING IT TO LOUIS FARRAKHAN AND THE NATION OF ISLAM.”

“IT’S CLEAR THAT THE ONLY RESTING PLACE FOR THIS SO-CALLED COMMUNITY CENTER IS RIGHT BEHIND BARS.”

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Greg Palast at BuzzFlash: Why Not Ban All Churches From Oklahoma Because McVeigh Was Christian.

“IN A BRILLIANT COUNTERMOVE, THE MODERATE IMAM, FEISAL ABDUL RAUF, HAS FIGURED OUT THAT FAT FREAKS LIKE LIMBAUGH AND GINGRICH ACTUALLY THINK FAST FOOD IS PART OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT.”

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BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin on the Psychotic Hysteria of Republicans and “Terrorist Babies.”

U.S. Supremes Abort the Birthers — At All Hat No Cattle.

“THE LAST THING WE NEED IS AN ANTHEM TO INSPIRE GAY MUSLIM TERRORISTS, SINGING BLASPHEMIES LIKE THIS:”

[Sung to the tune of YMCA]

Jihadist, there’s no need to feel down
I said, Jihadist, you’re now at the zero ground
I said, Jihadist, ’cause you’re in liberal town
There’s no need-to- be- un-happy

Jihadist, there’s a place you can go
From Ground Zero, it’s just a two-block bomb throw
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to, com-mit a war crime …

It’s fun to stay at the Cor-do-ba-House
It’s fun to stay at the Cor-do-ba-House

They have every-thing, that you need to enjoy,
Underwear bombs, shared with your Muslim boys …

It’s fun to stay at the Cor-do-ba-House
It’s fun to stay at the Cor-do-ba-House

You can take a nice steam, while you read the Koran,
Sing Muslim show tunes, during Ramadan

“THERE’S NOTHING MORE SACRED TO AMERICANS THAN THEIR DIET SOFT DRINKS, AND WE CERTAINLY DON’T NEED TO DRINK OUR COLAS OUT OF A KORAN. “

“WHY DO THEY NEED A MOSQUE, WHEN THEY CAN BE AS SUAVE AS RICARDO MONTALBAN, AND PRAY IN A 1975 CHRYSLER CORDOBA … WITH RICH CORINTHIAN LEATHER.”

The Video Here:

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Rachel Maddow on The War on Science (Brains), at One Good Move.

Son of Quayle! — at All Hat No Cattle.

The GOP’s Immigration Problem, at BuzzFlash.

While legendary Yankee public address announcer Bob Sheppard was lionized after his passing this week at age 99, most media outlets overlooked the numerous rejections and failures suffered by this elegant, deliberate and stentorian-voiced professor of linguistics:

7. Movie Trailer Voiceovers:  “IN A WORLD GONE PERFECTLY RATIONAL ….”

6. Pinch-hitting for Don Pardo:  “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, WAIT, THE SHOW IS ALREADY OVER, IT’S SUNDAY MORNING.”

5. Supermarket Manager: “CLEANUP IN AISLE 2 … AISLE 2.”

4. Strip Club DJ: “GENTLEMAN, LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR  36D, CRYSTAL, 36D.”

3. Soccer Announcer: “GOAL.”

2. TV Pitchman: “AND IF YOU CALL WITHIN THE NEXT 2 HOURS, I STILL WON’T BE FINISHED WITH MY PITCH.”

1. Johnny Carson’s Sidekick: “NOW MONOLOGUING, JOHNNY CARSON, ABOUT WIFE NO. 3, WIFE NO. 3.”

In a move even more controversial and audacious than that of LeBron James, longtime Yankee public address announcer Bob Sheppard, well-known as “The Voice of God,” abruptly announced his departure from the New York Yankees today, in order to literally become  “The Voice of God.”

Sheppard, who had been with the Yankees since 1951, stated he wanted “to play in a more favored location than even New York or South Beach, and with an even better supporting cast, God and the Angels.”

In an apparent bid to outdo the LeBron circus, Sheppard by-passed both ESPN and the Yankees’ own network, YES, and made the announcement directly from the heavens.

Hell, otherwise known as Cleveland, Ohio, expressed angry disappointment that Sheppard failed to keep an alleged promise to join the Cavaliers, with its owner vowing to get even. But Sheppard, ever the class gentlemen, still promised to announce Hell’s proprietor, as “Now ratting, Lucifer … No. 666.”

But the biggest loser was the Yankee organization itself, which issued a statement from its majority owner, George Steinbrenner, asserting that “after all these years, we had expected Mr. Sheppard to forego heaven in favor of spending his eternity in Monument Park.”

Sheppard also put aside concerns that he was joining a team that wouldn’t be considered his own,  emphasizing that he could now not only do voice-overs for the Almighty himself,  but might even be afforded the chance to control the outcome of sporting events, instead of just announcing them.

Refusing to comment on this development was Morgan Freeman, who was still expected to retain his claim to be the “Face of God.”

But despite mixed public reaction over Bob Sheppard’s latest career move, there seemed to be near universal disappointment that he didn’t take Jim Gray along with him.